heartslikestars.blogspot.com
Hearts Like Stars: 9/1/09 - 10/1/09
http://heartslikestars.blogspot.com/2009_09_01_archive.html
L'Oreal Extra-Volume Collagen Mascara Sucks. L'Oreal Extra-Volume Collagen Mascara. 12x More Impact Instantly. Don't waste your money. The dry clumps look like someone threw pepper in your face. My first purchase of this product was the waterproof formula. It left a flurry of tiny black flakes in my lashes and below my eyes after just an hour of normal wear. To be fair, I've never used a waterproof (that wasn't Clinique Lash Power. Conditioner ($27 for 8.5oz.). And serum ($24 for 2.5oz.). The one-shoulde...
glitterinthewater.blogspot.com
Glitter in the Water: January 2010
http://glitterinthewater.blogspot.com/2010_01_01_archive.html
So, I'm pretty sure the two old guys who walked in the room ahead of the President last night and stopped in the aisle and announced him like he was the King of England are his Official Presidential Yellers. Since he's already paying for professional yellers, I think they should be required to stand next to him and yell "booyeah! During his speeches when appropriate. Bless Yourself, Asshole. I Shop at Abercrombie. But when all is said and done, this is a great shirt I have on, isnt it? According to my bf...
glitterinthewater.blogspot.com
Glitter in the Water: P
http://glitterinthewater.blogspot.com/2010/01/p.html
According to my bf, the human bladder holds 8oz. (he told me this while explaining why he tried to pitch a company selling a 8oz. beverage a One (beverage), One Pee slogan set to the tune of Bob Marleys No Woman, No Cry. Do I need to tell you how that went over? If hes right, why do I have to pee like 3x before finishing a 12oz. can of diet coke? This is why I should work at home. On the toilet. Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom). Things I Wrote Before. Bless Yourself, Asshole. I Shop at Abercrombie.
glitterinthewater.blogspot.com
Glitter in the Water: Bless Yourself, Asshole
http://glitterinthewater.blogspot.com/2010/01/bless-yourself-asshole.html
Bless Yourself, Asshole. Every time I sneeze at work, someone says "bless you." I sneeze like 56 times a day despite taking an antihistamine for some reason, so it gets pretty annoying - especially when I do one of those rapid-fire multi-sneezes and I get a "bless you . bless you . BLESS. Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom). Things I Wrote Before. Bless Yourself, Asshole. I Shop at Abercrombie. My Friends Are Smart and Funny. My yelp.com reviews. View my complete profile.
glitterinthewater.blogspot.com
Glitter in the Water: June 2008
http://glitterinthewater.blogspot.com/2008_06_01_archive.html
But still isn't using his litter box. (eww). Has MySpace made high school reunions obsolete? I mean, the only reason people go is to show everyone they aren't fat and poor. And if you can see that on the internet already, then why pay $50 a plate in some function room at the Holiday Inn just to have awkward conversations with the people fate happened to seat next to you in algebra? Why do I keep catching my cats eating the dog's food? Like what exactly would be written on my police record?
glitterinthewater.blogspot.com
Glitter in the Water: May 2008
http://glitterinthewater.blogspot.com/2008_05_01_archive.html
Max found this little guy in the alley last night. He was just born yesterday and abandoned by his mom. The vet said he's healthy so we have him at home in a box on a heating pad and are feeding him kitten formula in a tiny kitten-sized bottle. He is the size of your palm and squeaks like a mouse. He has no name yet. We are going to take care of him until we find him a nice home with someone (one of our friends we hope) who will let us come visit and play with him! So if that is you, let us know!
glitterinthewater.blogspot.com
Glitter in the Water: April 2008
http://glitterinthewater.blogspot.com/2008_04_01_archive.html
The Fat Lady Is Singing (and Making Videos). Talentless titbag Scarlett Johansson recently released a painfully dull, self-indulgent album of Tom Waits covers. Today she followed with a painfully dull and self-indulgent music video. In which writer Salman Rushdie is speaking to her for some reason? But it's muted, so in all honesty he's probably asking her where the bathroom is and then hurriedly excusing himself to take a shit. For now, the emperor remains naked and oblivious. Labels: Snapshots: My Life.
glitterinthewater.blogspot.com
Glitter in the Water: I'm Begging You to Stop
http://glitterinthewater.blogspot.com/2010/02/i-begging-you-to-stop.html
Im Begging You to Stop. Dear John Mayer,. I know it was a great day when some label scout found you sitting on the grass in the quad and gave you a big check to record the songs you made up to impress sorority girls when you ran out of roofies that time and no one would fuck you cause your face looks like a swollen horse testicle. But youre rich now, and for some inexplicable reason women fuck you. Please stop writing songs. I dont want to hear your sexy voice anymore asshole. January 18, 2011 at 3:48 PM.
glitterinthewater.blogspot.com
Glitter in the Water: I Think I Lost My Materialism and I Want it Back
http://glitterinthewater.blogspot.com/2009/11/i-think-i-lost-my-materialism-and-i.html
I Think I Lost My Materialism and I Want it Back. Being unemployed for 10 months has made it incredibly hard for me to come up with items for a holiday wishlist! Not to sound like a total white chick with dreadlocks who eats soy cheese, but it's kinda because I've realized that without a context, so much is meaningless. I guess that's kind of good, right? But also a pain in the ass. What will it add to my life? How will I use it? After which point I end up putting most things back down.
