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Eatin' Eggs with Bill Oates!

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Eatin' Eggs with Bill Oates! | billoates.blogspot.com Reviews
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Eatin' Eggs with Bill Oates! | billoates.blogspot.com Reviews

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1

Eatin' Eggs with Bill Oates!: Christmas Morning at Oates Manor

http://billoates.blogspot.com/2007/01/christmas-morning-at-oates-manor.html

January 3, 2007. Christmas Morning at Oates Manor. Because our kids go to bed at a normal hour, and Eninen's are allowed to run wild through the house until. Decide it's a good time to go to sleep, our boys were up on Christmas morning at least two hours before the "fun" kicked in. That gave them ample time to admire their presents, then hide them so they wouldn't be destroyed by the see-thru tsunami. The youngest kid whine-screamed, over and over again. A farm? The noise in that room was unbelievable, i...

2

Eatin' Eggs with Bill Oates!: Christmas Eve at Oates Manor

http://billoates.blogspot.com/2007/01/christmas-eve-at-oates-manor.html

January 1, 2007. Christmas Eve at Oates Manor. The shrill noise caused a thousand birds to leave the trees. Following a weird-ass horizontal handshake (European? When I went back inside Nancy was on her cell phone, talking to Sunshine. She was spinning a nightmare tale of fussy children and terrible traffic, and I rolled my eyes and had another M&M cookie. My wife, Tammy Oates, had been working all day preparing a nice Christmas Eve food spread, and after a couple of stiff drinks we began dragging everyt...

3

Eatin' Eggs with Bill Oates!: December 2006

http://billoates.blogspot.com/2006_12_01_archive.html

December 29, 2006. Occasionally I have stories to tell. Like right now, for instance. My crazy-ass sister-in-law Nancy, her so-called husband Banana Nostrils (they were "married" on a beach by an actor amongst a pack of leaping dogs), and their gang of l'il translucent children descended on our house for Christmas. So that's what I'm going to do. Against my better judgment I started this so-called blog to write about Nancy's latest visit, and whatever else might pop into my head along the way. It...

4

Eatin' Eggs with Bill Oates!: Stories to Tell

http://billoates.blogspot.com/2006/12/stories-to-tell.html

December 29, 2006. Occasionally I have stories to tell. Like right now, for instance. My crazy-ass sister-in-law Nancy, her so-called husband Banana Nostrils (they were "married" on a beach by an actor amongst a pack of leaping dogs), and their gang of l'il translucent children descended on our house for Christmas. So that's what I'm going to do. Against my better judgment I started this so-called blog to write about Nancy's latest visit, and whatever else might pop into my head along the way. It...Your ...

5

Eatin' Eggs with Bill Oates!: Christmas Day at Oates Manor

http://billoates.blogspot.com/2007/01/christmas-day-at-oates-manor.html

January 8, 2007. Christmas Day at Oates Manor. After the Christmas morning “family hike,” the gang returned to Oates Manor and proceeded to tear shit out of our kitchen. Nostrils was in there making more of his horrible assplosion coffee, and Nancy was puttering around as usual, always puttering. My wife, Tammy Oates, walked into the room at one point and Nancy was rubbing Nossy’s ass, getting way up in there and everything. Apparently leftover vegan fare in stank Tupperware gets them hot. And come to th...

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Eatin' Eggs with Bill Oates!

January 25, 2007. Boxing Day at Oates Manor, Part I. By Tuesday Nancy was starting to get bitchy. Tammy Oates believed it was because Nostrils had opted out of a planned visit to an ailing aunt’s house in Philadelphia, scheduled for Wednesday. Originally all of us were going to go, but I made it crystal clear that I was staying home (I mean, seriously), and Nossy apparently saw it as an opportunity to do the same. 8220;Why would you do something like that? Goes the sound of the testicle lockbox. I took a...

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