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Climb to Nowhere: February 2011
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Stories of an overachiever's underachievements. Thursday, February 24, 2011. My Dog is a C*#? We walked in, and now that it was almost two in the morning and the dogs were alone for hours, it was a shit storm of barking like I had never experienced. They were going nuts. I needed to take them out for walks. “Gay or Straight? He’d think I was one of those people who read self-help. K at “Gay or Straight,? 8221; started to “massage” my back while I stood there holding the dogs. The things I...After an hour...
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Climb to Nowhere: May 2010
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Stories of an overachiever's underachievements. Sunday, May 30, 2010. Three Weddings, One Silver Dress, and A Brazilian (Part 1). One of my girlfriends was getting married. Her Bachelorette party was at my apartment and consisted of our favorite frozen yogurt cake and a shit load of alcohol. At the time, my apartment was close to our favorite meat market bar. Only the one friend was getting married, so the rest of us wanted to hook up. If I was going to be an artist, why not have the full experience?
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Climb to Nowhere: March 2011
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Stories of an overachiever's underachievements. Thursday, March 10, 2011. Naked on the Subway (Part 3). While riding the Path train, trying to avoid eye contact, my mind was a jumble of thoughts. Where am I going to get dressed? What the hell am I going to do? Why didn’t I just get dressed at the laughing Chinese Lady’s shop? Why can’t I get up on time? On-the-train type of stare. 8221; He said, “What’s the matter? You didn’t have time to get dressed this morning? 8221; And then I ran off the train.
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Climb to Nowhere: December 2010
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Stories of an overachiever's underachievements. Thursday, December 16, 2010. East Coast Millan (Part 3). Before we knew it, we were at the house. My GBF had been. Driving. He turned onto the block and cut the lights a few houses down. We silently rolled up alongside the curb and shut off the engine. We all looked at each other and started to argue about what to do. I was scared. It was all very. Why haven’t you called me back? What the hell is going on? My friends chimed in and backed me up. But then all...
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Climb to Nowhere: July 2011
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Stories of an overachiever's underachievements. Wednesday, July 13, 2011. Rubies, Emeralds, and Diamonds, Oh My! It was THE RING. It was lost. YES! I was crazy upset, but pretending I had perspective. Even though I had only thought about moving to California for five seconds, suddenly I was into it. I thought I lost it while going to the bathroom. I have this bad habit of every time I wash my hands, I take off THE RING. No matter where I am. It was a big deal to me, but Suit Four was really taking it per...
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Climb to Nowhere: October 2010
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Stories of an overachiever's underachievements. Sunday, October 31, 2010. Recipe for Disaster (Part 1). Everyone has one friend that is extreme. Last minute they’ll drive to Atlantic City and gamble all night. They’ll start a new business in a week. They’re in love. They’re in hate. Life is a constant adventure. My friends say that I can be that person, but I also have that person. I became friends with my twin-lost-at-birth extremist when I moved to NY. She’s a nice girl, but a little conservative...
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Climb to Nowhere: January 2011
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Stories of an overachiever's underachievements. Thursday, January 13, 2011. Binge Life (Part 3). Cheesesteaks. Totally nuts. We were so nervous about running the next day, and about what we had done the night before, that now we were binge eating to calm ourselves. By the time we reached our hotel, we all felt sick. We decided to go to bed early to finally get some rest. It was turning into a disaster weekend. Old habits die hard. But then. Boom Boom. Boom. What the hell was that? What was I thinking?
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Climb to Nowhere: July 2010
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Stories of an overachiever's underachievements. Thursday, July 8, 2010. Karmic Bitch (Part 3). I’m trapped in my elevator. And guess what? I have to pee. Nobody’s surprised here, right? I’ve actually had to pee for over 2-hours, and was so happy when I got into the elevator knowing that I’d be in my apartment in less than 30-seconds. I wasn’t worried. Now that I’m caught in the elevator, I’m crazy worried. Most people would be afraid of dying. The elevator falling. Hurting themselves. Claustr...Frantical...
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Climb to Nowhere: June 2010
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Stories of an overachiever's underachievements. Thursday, June 17, 2010. Tell Me A Joke Bitch (Part 3). And then I did a joke. Not much of a response. So I plowed forward and did another joke. Crickets. Bow-Tie crickets. And as I stood there, all I could hear was this damn harp playing in the background. And I smiled and said,. This is just like being in a club. Is that a fucking harp? Links to this post. Tuesday, June 15, 2010. Tell Me A Joke Bitch (Part 2). Crazy Bride was doing a make up dress rehears...
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Climb to Nowhere: October 2011
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Stories of an overachiever's underachievements. Monday, October 31, 2011. Fans of Climb to Nowhere have been sending me emails and asking for a new story. They want to be on the edge of their seats while falling over with laughter. Who doesn't? One of my friends sells real estate and she's great at it, but one of the owners of the company was giving her trouble. A: Ready to quit? If you have a work/job/boss/life/whatever question you'd like me to answer let me know. More stories are coming soon. Whether ...
