hogansherald.blogspot.com
Hogan's Herald: October 2008
http://hogansherald.blogspot.com/2008_10_01_archive.html
Monday, October 27, 2008. Take On An Empty Stomach. Anyway, at the height of swimsuit season I noticed the scale consistently and incorrectly inflating my weight. So, I replaced the batteries, my jeans, and eventually the scale(twice actually: digital and analog) before reluctantly grasping reality. After ten new pounds in two weeks (that's a lot for a tiny troll) I revisited some of my favorite profanities and broke up with all three scales. I was smiling so hard my face cracked even more than normal.
hogansherald.blogspot.com
Hogan's Herald: March 2009
http://hogansherald.blogspot.com/2009_03_01_archive.html
Thursday, March 5, 2009. Song of the Humpback Whale. I drive a big truck. And when I say "big", I mean extended cab, long bed, lifted, biggie size french fries HUGE! This thing is so large it defies 99% of all parking lots and drive thru banking or eating establishments. Although I loathe driving my husband's monster truck in the preschool carpool there are some distinct advantages. Finally, my hottie quotient has skyrocketed with rednecks, truckers and construction workers. I'm not proud of it, but ...
hogansherald.blogspot.com
Hogan's Herald: Song of the Humpback Whale
http://hogansherald.blogspot.com/2009/03/song-of-humpback-whale.html
Thursday, March 5, 2009. Song of the Humpback Whale. I drive a big truck. And when I say "big", I mean extended cab, long bed, lifted, biggie size french fries HUGE! This thing is so large it defies 99% of all parking lots and drive thru banking or eating establishments. Although I loathe driving my husband's monster truck in the preschool carpool there are some distinct advantages. Finally, my hottie quotient has skyrocketed with rednecks, truckers and construction workers. I'm not proud of it, but ...
hogansherald.blogspot.com
Hogan's Herald: December 2008
http://hogansherald.blogspot.com/2008_12_01_archive.html
Saturday, December 20, 2008. All I want for Christmas is My Two Front Teeth! Where have I been, you ask? Ok, big breath. In the month of December my true love gave to me(and my family):. 9 calls to comcast (slow high speed internet). 6 days of shoveling (me, not the hubby. See item #1). F I V E G O L D E N S H E E T S.(. Bed-wedding woes. No, not me.). AND A RUPTURED ACHILLES! Why didn't I just put the presents down and pull it out with my fingers? I then tried disengaging the string by standing on my ti...
hogansherald.blogspot.com
Hogan's Herald: EE-I-EE-I Uh Oh!
http://hogansherald.blogspot.com/2008/11/ee-i-ee-i-uh-oh.html
Thursday, November 6, 2008. My neighbors, the McDonalds, are neither old nor have a farm and I don't live on Barnum and Bailey Boulevard. However, my experiences with animals on my workout route make you wonder about the chemical content of the water around here. The callous canine concentrated his vicious assault on the strained ankle elastic of Rodney's 20 year old gray drawstring sweat pants. Poor Rodney began wobbling perilously, kicking his victimized leg, and shrieking at the dog. Wanting d...With ...
hogansherald.blogspot.com
Hogan's Herald: January 2009
http://hogansherald.blogspot.com/2009_01_01_archive.html
Wednesday, January 7, 2009. Did Someone Order the Pupu Platter? When the stinging aroma approaches intolerable levels I hesitantly snap back his napping sister's britches with a tupperware tangerine peeler but find no green apple nasties lurking in there either. Only after removing the entree from the oven do I realize the stinking sewer smell is none other than.my dinner. Bon Appetit! So, to all of you unfortunate recipients of my complimentary cooking, my deepest condolences. Subscribe to: Posts (Atom).
hogansherald.blogspot.com
Hogan's Herald: November 2008
http://hogansherald.blogspot.com/2008_11_01_archive.html
Thursday, November 6, 2008. My neighbors, the McDonalds, are neither old nor have a farm and I don't live on Barnum and Bailey Boulevard. However, my experiences with animals on my workout route make you wonder about the chemical content of the water around here. The callous canine concentrated his vicious assault on the strained ankle elastic of Rodney's 20 year old gray drawstring sweat pants. Poor Rodney began wobbling perilously, kicking his victimized leg, and shrieking at the dog. Wanting d...With ...
hogansherald.blogspot.com
Hogan's Herald: August 2008
http://hogansherald.blogspot.com/2008_08_01_archive.html
Friday, August 22, 2008. What's In a Name? For the past 15 years I've navigated the suburbs on my brother's old mountain bike. My riding partner bought a brand new ride so I decided to upgrade mine to keep up with the Jones's (or in this case the Christenson's). My guess is Gary came up with the much more benign "Level Betty" following a stint in rehab and a reproving look from his mother. Even more unsettling than the bike names are the people selling them and the ads they place. One recent asylum e...
hogansherald.blogspot.com
Hogan's Herald: All I want for Christmas is My Two Front Teeth!
http://hogansherald.blogspot.com/2008/12/all-i-want-for-christmas-is-my-two.html
Saturday, December 20, 2008. All I want for Christmas is My Two Front Teeth! Where have I been, you ask? Ok, big breath. In the month of December my true love gave to me(and my family):. 9 calls to comcast (slow high speed internet). 6 days of shoveling (me, not the hubby. See item #1). F I V E G O L D E N S H E E T S.(. Bed-wedding woes. No, not me.). AND A RUPTURED ACHILLES! Why didn't I just put the presents down and pull it out with my fingers? I then tried disengaging the string by standing on my ti...
hogansherald.blogspot.com
Hogan's Herald: Do I Hear $20?
http://hogansherald.blogspot.com/2008/10/ill-give-you-ten-bucks-for-it.html
Monday, October 13, 2008. Do I Hear $20? While scrutinizing a pair of patent leather, peek toe (or is it "peep toe? Mary Janes at the mall, I narrowly escaped physical assault by four elderly ladies, one wheelchair bound. As I assessed my ability to command the 3 1/2 inch heel, this gaggle of gals clad in polyester pant suits and far east fuchsia lipstick began hollering "Excuse me. Excuuuse me! Here," I casually replied "A couple of years ago.". Mincing no words she boldly inquired "How much was it?
