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Cinematograflop

Finding entertainment in the great failures of entertainment. Tuesday, July 23, 2013. It is the action film that continuously asks, How can we recreate Enter the Dragon for the tail end of the Cold War, using a gymnast as America’s secret weapon? It also asks many other important questions, such as, How do Kurt Thomas’s white pants stay so clean through so many battles to the death? And Can Kurt Thomas pull his white pants up any higher? Seen in its entirety, the movie drips with Hollywood clichés and cu...

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Cinematograflop | cinematograflop.blogspot.com Reviews

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Finding entertainment in the great failures of entertainment. Tuesday, July 23, 2013. It is the action film that continuously asks, How can we recreate Enter the Dragon for the tail end of the Cold War, using a gymnast as America’s secret weapon? It also asks many other important questions, such as, How do Kurt Thomas’s white pants stay so clean through so many battles to the death? And Can Kurt Thomas pull his white pants up any higher? Seen in its entirety, the movie drips with Hollywood clichés and cu...

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1 cinematograflop

2 gymkata

3 is gymkata stupid

4 is gymkata awesome

5 labels blood puddles

6 flips

7 gymnastics

8 islamic nightmarescape

9 kurt thomas

10 martial arts

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Cinematograflop | cinematograflop.blogspot.com Reviews

https://cinematograflop.blogspot.com

Finding entertainment in the great failures of entertainment. Tuesday, July 23, 2013. It is the action film that continuously asks, How can we recreate Enter the Dragon for the tail end of the Cold War, using a gymnast as America’s secret weapon? It also asks many other important questions, such as, How do Kurt Thomas’s white pants stay so clean through so many battles to the death? And Can Kurt Thomas pull his white pants up any higher? Seen in its entirety, the movie drips with Hollywood clichés and cu...

INTERNAL PAGES

cinematograflop.blogspot.com

1

Cinematograflop: November 2011

http://www.cinematograflop.blogspot.com/2011_11_01_archive.html

Finding entertainment in the great failures of entertainment. Thursday, November 10, 2011. Conan The Barbarian (2011). On a quest to enjoy the new Conan, follow these simple commands. 1 Don't pay full price. 2 Disable your inner Ebert. 3 Embrace gore and glorious tits. After hearing nothing good about this movie, and seeing its 19% approval rating on Rotten Tomatoes, I decided it would be a foolish waste of 90 minutes and three dollars. Well, that's what movies are for, right? Other dumb things include:.

2

Cinematograflop: Miss Robin Crusoe

http://www.cinematograflop.blogspot.com/2013/01/miss-robin-crusoe.html

Finding entertainment in the great failures of entertainment. Monday, January 28, 2013. Miss Robin Crusoe," a TCM obscurity. 1954, in Pathecolor. I recorded this because I'd never heard of it. Luckily, it turns out to be gruesome, with a chance of race and gender perplexity. My favorite forecast! She builds a tree house and befriends a monkey. She then bathes naked, so the monkey covers its eyes, because monkeys, as is well known, cannot bear to gaze upon the undraped female form. Another ship founders i...

3

Cinematograflop: Oh Bachelor Where Art Thou?

http://www.cinematograflop.blogspot.com/2011/03/oh-bachelor-where-art-thou.html

Finding entertainment in the great failures of entertainment. Saturday, March 19, 2011. Oh Bachelor Where Art Thou? I'm going on the offensive. Who are you to make fun of me just because I love The Bachelor? Marge, and her seventeen facelifts, stuck in eternal midnight blue. Marge Helgenberger is 52 years old. And nobody works harder to make real people cry than our reality television producers. So, how do you make people cry without making people feel guilty about wanting to watch people cry? The Bigges...

4

Cinematograflop: The Viking Sagas

http://www.cinematograflop.blogspot.com/2011/04/viking-sagas.html

Finding entertainment in the great failures of entertainment. Monday, April 11, 2011. I re-watched this movie and took notes for this review, then lost the notes. My wife said yesterday- "you mean we watched that movie a second time for nothing! So in the interest of imbuing life's suffering with meaning (and from memory), I give you: "Viking Sagas" starring Ralf Moeller. Click here for trailer on You Tube. First thing I noticed during the credits was lots of Scandinavian sounding names- good sign, right?

5

Cinematograflop: September 2012

http://www.cinematograflop.blogspot.com/2012_09_01_archive.html

Finding entertainment in the great failures of entertainment. Tuesday, September 11, 2012. Buddha and Bachelor Pad. Atheists and Christians, Buddhists and Jain,. Gather y'all and hear a story of human triumph! Lo it was not written, but unfolded in its own space with the pressure of gravity, like a lotus. In the land of spray tans and whores, where the champagne is on tap and the bunk-beds are stacked, a game that honors God's creation has emerged. It goes by the name of Bachelor Pad. Yes Yes, it is.

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cranialstomp.blogspot.com

Cranial Stomp Comix: Not Again, Jehovah!

http://cranialstomp.blogspot.com/2014/11/not-again-jehovah.html

STEADFASTLY UNSUCCESSFUL FOR 20 YEARS AND COUNTING. Saturday, November 15, 2014. Not Again, Jehovah! Shall I never be free of Carl, the nattily attired Jehovah’s Witness who corners me at work annually with his unsophisticated theological redux? He’s been sticking me with his extra copies of Awake! Because, you know, they seemed sweet. After some awkward small-talk about real estate or whatever, Carl gets down to brass flim-flam. He asks if my wife goes to church. 8220;Yeah, out in Billings.”. Carl also ...

cranialstomp.blogspot.com

Cranial Stomp Comix: The Customer Service Spectrum

http://cranialstomp.blogspot.com/2015/01/the-customer-service-spectrum.html

STEADFASTLY UNSUCCESSFUL FOR 20 YEARS AND COUNTING. Saturday, January 31, 2015. The Customer Service Spectrum. Yes, there's something wrong with these people. The thought process that arduously replaces actual wit with something like overdoing it immaturely. I’ve developed a handy, 3-tiered Goldilocks-inspired ratings system for navigating today’s unpredictable customer service matrix. (Because it's a pleasure to write for you.). BRAUM’S (v. SUBWAY). I can’t recall any good anecdotes, but my alignm...

cranialstomp.blogspot.com

Cranial Stomp Comix: August 2014

http://cranialstomp.blogspot.com/2014_08_01_archive.html

STEADFASTLY UNSUCCESSFUL FOR 20 YEARS AND COUNTING. Sunday, August 24, 2014. Just kidding, it's not this bad. I declare this day, August whatever, Judgment Day, the day I climb upon my high horse which has been shod with soapboxes, and I judge the living daylights out of all chumps I deem hoseriffic. There will be no mercy, no fairness, and none of my usual hemming, hawing, or judicious wobbling. Well, they both had jobs and paid all their rent. Are they stupid? 8226; Did not pull weeds or trim vinery an...

cranialstomp.blogspot.com

Cranial Stomp Comix: July 2015

http://cranialstomp.blogspot.com/2015_07_01_archive.html

STEADFASTLY UNSUCCESSFUL FOR 20 YEARS AND COUNTING. Wednesday, July 22, 2015. Rock ‘n’ Roll Odyssey, Parts I-IX. Just imagine our address is "2112". Or, I Think I Drove a Meth Head to a Rush Concert. I had to do what was Closer to the Heart, right? What kind of a dick would I be if I drove on by, playing Rush to the three empty seats in my car? Four, if you count my toddler’s car seat). I pulled up to him, and he was happy. As usual, my car was full of junk, so I hopped out to clear his seat and floo...

cranialstomp.blogspot.com

Cranial Stomp Comix: List Week 2 rolls on!

http://cranialstomp.blogspot.com/2014/12/list-week-2-rolls-on.html

STEADFASTLY UNSUCCESSFUL FOR 20 YEARS AND COUNTING. Monday, December 22, 2014. List Week 2 rolls on! Wonky Apocalypse Mechanisms that Would Disprove Long-Held Notions About God. 1 Logs rapidly falling from clouds. 2 Toxic opossum horde (must be eaten to be toxic). 3 Dynamite hot dogs. 4 Ozone layer becomes pudding. 5 Everyone morphs into Michael Landon, everyone dies a Landonesque death. 6 Blood becomes Kool-Aid, Kool-Aid Man wrings everybody out into himself. 7 Lists become deadly to behold.

cranialstomp.blogspot.com

Cranial Stomp Comix: December 2014

http://cranialstomp.blogspot.com/2014_12_01_archive.html

STEADFASTLY UNSUCCESSFUL FOR 20 YEARS AND COUNTING. Monday, December 22, 2014. List Week 2 rolls on! Wonky Apocalypse Mechanisms that Would Disprove Long-Held Notions About God. 1 Logs rapidly falling from clouds. 2 Toxic opossum horde (must be eaten to be toxic). 3 Dynamite hot dogs. 4 Ozone layer becomes pudding. 5 Everyone morphs into Michael Landon, everyone dies a Landonesque death. 6 Blood becomes Kool-Aid, Kool-Aid Man wrings everybody out into himself. 7 Lists become deadly to behold. 11 Adolph M...

cranialstomp.blogspot.com

Cranial Stomp Comix: List Week 2: The Second-Ditch Attempt

http://cranialstomp.blogspot.com/2014/12/list-week-2-second-ditch-attempt.html

STEADFASTLY UNSUCCESSFUL FOR 20 YEARS AND COUNTING. Saturday, December 20, 2014. List Week 2: The Second-Ditch Attempt. Because one person seemed a tad bit amused by the original List Week, we now present a new collection of lists in something resembling a 5-in-one-week arrangement. Remember, the enumeration makes the comedy go down easy, like jello cubes. Alternate Names for Bigfoot, as Used by Various Organizations. 1 The Shaggy Rustler (Cattlemen’s Association). 3 Undocumented Sumbitch (The NRA).

cranialstomp.blogspot.com

Cranial Stomp Comix: October 2014

http://cranialstomp.blogspot.com/2014_10_01_archive.html

STEADFASTLY UNSUCCESSFUL FOR 20 YEARS AND COUNTING. Tuesday, October 28, 2014. Damn it, bring this shit back, internet! Unfortunately I can't recreate the clunky, Siri-style voices and the little gestures the characters made, not to mention the zooming and "camerawork," which made it more fun to watch.). Chad, are you going to cowboy church with us? No, Mom. I mean, you know if I go, it will just be to make fun of people and look for whoever tells you all those lies about Obama. Okay Well, I don’t ...

cranialstomp.blogspot.com

Cranial Stomp Comix: When Cat Fancying Goes Wrong

http://cranialstomp.blogspot.com/2015/01/when-cat-fancying-goes-wrong.html

STEADFASTLY UNSUCCESSFUL FOR 20 YEARS AND COUNTING. Sunday, January 4, 2015. When Cat Fancying Goes Wrong. 2014’s Only Pedigreed Cat Names Rejected by the Cat Fanciers Association. 1 Whoremaster’s Kitten Dispenser. 2 Mayflower’s Li’l Tortie Brothel Mop. 3 Dennis’s Warm Milk on Tender Buttons. 4 Black Market Smack Satchel of Pajamalove. 5 Ball or Pee-pee Meat, Purrbaby? 6 Brutality’s Seal Point Dung Stain. 7 Moist, Tender, Shaved Pussy. 8 Harlequin Romance Kitty Kitty Bang Bang. 12 “Cat”hy.

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Tempatnya orang-orang nakal akan kreativitas! Dilarang keras masuk organisasi ini tanpa adanya pengakuan kenakalan dari Cineas! Jumat, 31 Oktober 2008. Kalau menurut aku ya cinematografi itu very good and cool dari pada yang lain.ya itu aja. Mungkin kalau tidak ada cinematografi saya tidak akan pernah memegang kamera karena dari dulu saya tidak pernah memegang kamera.he.he.he.he.(Trio n’ Bebby). Ekskul cinema itu sangat unik soalnya kita sebagai pelajar kita bisa mengembangkan bakat kita disini! Tapi yan...

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