majorstranger.blogspot.com
Major Stranger: February 2012
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Who I Want to Be When I Grow Up. This was going to be the title of my next post, but I have crippling writer's block, people. I mean, all I had in the body of that post was this:. A man or Buffy Summers.". What I do when I'm not writing. Don't cross me. Is incredibly sexy or hideously ugly, getting new eyeglasses, making endless sodas with my new Sodastream. Not doing my taxes, and occasionally slut-shaming my cat in a seemingly-friendly voice because she doesn't know the difference and it is HILARIOUS&#...
majorstranger.blogspot.com
Major Stranger: August 2011
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The Devil Wears Pigtails: How I Insulted My Mom Via Handmade Greeting Cards And More! Because his name was Eugene. I would bite him and color his ears now if I saw him. His name sucked and so did he. Babby "Hunger Games.". ANYWAY (Sorry, Eugenes of the world), my father then told us all a story of my poor behavior which quickly nestled its way into my heart and became my favorite story ever. Even better than Pan's Labyrinth. Was that supposed to be a lesson in business, sales, and consumerism? Thank God ...
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Major Stranger: July 2011
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I'm Fine With Immigrants, As Long As They're White! Because they mostly speak English (albeit North Dakota-English, don't ya knowwwww? Have been wearing flannel long before hipsters have, love bacon, and most importantly, look. American. Is Avril Lavigne even a legal citizen? I say it doesn't matter and we should deport her anyway. Some Canadian humor to lighten up this post. I was born in Montreal and am a dual citizen by the way! LET ME SEE IF I GOT THIS RIGHT! 2 - A DRIVERS LICENSE,. 4 - WELFARE,.
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Major Stranger: October 2011
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Band Review 17 Years Too Late: The Cranberries. Before you go saying "The Cranberries? Weren't they popular about 300 years ago? I suggest you stroll on over to their Wikipedia. And educate yourself on the album they're going to release in 2012. THAT'S RIGHT, BITCHES. The Cranberries are back. Alright! Backstreet Boys" reference. Sorry). Being sexy yet difficult and Rex Manning putting the moves on girls way too young for him (the song "How" made its orgasmic appearance in the cult classic Empire Records.
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Major Stranger: November 2011
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How to Cure a Yeast Infection In the Most Delicious Way. Let me start off this post by saying no, this isn't about farming vaginal yeast to make artisanal bread and yes, you should not continue reading this if you have a twig and berries between your legs (you've been warned, gentlemen). Now, onto the yeasty goodness. What the yeast are up to in there. Science. Hoo-ha scraped and poked. If you're like me, you try everything you can yourself before you tell an adult. I am not a doctor. If you have the...
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Major Stranger: December 2011
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Children's Movies Are Way Different Now That My Brain Is Fully Formed. So you're a bit melancholy and one of your favorite childhood movies is on TV. SCORE. There is nothing more comforting than watching something that was last seen through eyes that lacked responsibility, reason, and bladder control. You snuggle up with a stuffed animal and other cozy things like tea and fire and get ready to tingle from head to toe with nostalgia. But wait.what's this? I'm talking about The Sound of Music. News flash: ...
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Major Stranger: July 2015
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Yes, All of My Pictures Have Turned to Cats. Let's have a moment of silence for all the pictures that were lost in The Great Photobucket Purge of 2015; the sexy gif of Captain Von Trapp, the graph I made about how to walk in NYC, my before and after Accutane receipts, and, my personal favorite, the casual pickle. R.I.P. On the bright side, Blogger, Photobucket, or possibly our feline overlords replaced all of the missing photos with a picture of a cat. At least my blog is still on brand. Life: i hate you.
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Major Stranger: March 2012
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How to Make Your Living Room Look Pinteresting. SEE WHAT I DID THERE? Anyway, I just used four tags on this post that have previously never been used on my blog EVER. Boy oh boy are you in for a treat. When Sam and I first moved into our new place, we had some problems agreeing on what should be hung on the wall and where. This led to me scouring Tumblr and Pinterest for ideas and him vetoing all of them which, in turn, led to a big empty wall of nothingness behind our couch. 9829; This book. Edited to a...
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Major Stranger: December 2012
http://majorstranger.blogspot.com/2012_12_01_archive.html
I'll Never Be As Successful As 9-Year-Old YouTube Prodigies. You know when you go onto YouTube to watch one video and you suddenly fall into a fugue state and hours later you find yourself sitting there, in the dark, watching butterfly mating dances? It started off innocently enough - I searched " The Pierces. Cover" to see what horrible. Way before Bieber Fever took the world by temperature (was I really just a hipster about Bieber. I don't know about you, but rather than feeling a "Wow! It goes against...
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Major Stranger: January 2012
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TV Censorship: Are You For Monkeyfighting Real? Last week, as those of you who know me in the real world are already aware, I was bed-ridden with what can only be described as. My body entering a Guinness World Record. Competition for the most mucous produced in the shortest time span. Coupled with a sore throat, blinding sinus pressure, and a fever, I could have also probably won the Guinness World Record for grumpiest lady on a couch who hasn't showered in three days. The two movies were Boogeyman 2.
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