kiddouche.blogspot.com
Kid Douche: August 2012
http://kiddouche.blogspot.com/2012_08_01_archive.html
Friday, August 24, 2012. Me Bones Gwaan Crumble. Melted. Neck and shoulders? The result of my trip, besides having a blast, was that I exhausted myself and lost 6 pounds from running around in the heat. When I got back to LA, I felt weak and tired and achy and stressed out. I had to gain some weight back. No big deal. Just take it easy for a week or two and get myself built up a little. Easy enough, right? Put a Tylenol in my yogurt and enjoy the funeral, baby. I'd be a terrible Viking. I'd die on th...
kiddouche.blogspot.com
Kid Douche: How to Buy a Used Fridge
http://kiddouche.blogspot.com/2014/03/how-to-buy-used-fridge.html
Saturday, March 1, 2014. How to Buy a Used Fridge. HATE FILLED BULLET POINTS. I don't trust anybody else's idea of clean. You all missed a spot. I don't think I'd buy a used car from an obese man. The suspension is probably all fucked up. Who knows what that guy's been eating in the car on the way home from work, hiding his food intake from his very patient wife. I used to be fat, and now I hate fat people. Actually, I've always hated fat people, including myself. But now I'm thin, baby!
kiddouche.blogspot.com
Kid Douche: Never Trust Passion
http://kiddouche.blogspot.com/2012/09/never-trust-passion.html
Sunday, September 9, 2012. While reading Esquire today, I came across an ad for boat shoes, or shoes for people who get a kick out of pretending to own a boat. Fake boat ownership is a blast. The shoes are called Top Siders by a company called Sperry. Here's the ad, which I'll get into after you feast your hungry eyeballs on it. I can kick pretty hard. My legs are full of passion. Posted by Kid Douche. September 18, 2012 at 4:37 PM. Some far added twos affiliated with Red Sole Shoes will be listed. Fart ...
kiddouche.blogspot.com
Kid Douche: May 2015
http://kiddouche.blogspot.com/2015_05_01_archive.html
Thursday, May 7, 2015. Losing My Mind: A Tale of Exhaustion. Note: This post was written in January of 2015. Rough times. I'm over it now. Living with my girlfriend in a nice little guesthouse with no shared walls or floors. I'm past the bull noise. Enjoy my retroactive suffering! I am growing sick of the city. Fuck, I am done. Oof, I sound angry and bitter. Explain yourself, suicidal lobster. Go on, tell us non-suiciders what the hell you were thinking. Why would you even consider opting out of ...I'm d...
kiddouche.blogspot.com
Kid Douche: September 2012
http://kiddouche.blogspot.com/2012_09_01_archive.html
Sunday, September 9, 2012. While reading Esquire today, I came across an ad for boat shoes, or shoes for people who get a kick out of pretending to own a boat. Fake boat ownership is a blast. The shoes are called Top Siders by a company called Sperry. Here's the ad, which I'll get into after you feast your hungry eyeballs on it. I can kick pretty hard. My legs are full of passion. Posted by Kid Douche. Subscribe to: Posts (Atom). Udder Blogs I Like. Scotch and Salad - poems. Big List of Dead People - blog.
kiddouche.blogspot.com
Kid Douche: June 2013
http://kiddouche.blogspot.com/2013_06_01_archive.html
Monday, June 24, 2013. Searching For Sugar Man: Criminally Boring. I actually got angry after watching "Searching for Sugar Man" last night. Not that the documentary contained offensive ideas or anything. I just didn't see what the big deal was. I've heard a lot about the movie and how it was shocking, epic, and one of a kind. It centers around a musician known as Rodriguez, whose music was so great and why hadn't anybody heard of him before? What bridge troll finds this fascinating? The mystery surround...
kiddouche.blogspot.com
Kid Douche: January 2012
http://kiddouche.blogspot.com/2012_01_01_archive.html
Tuesday, January 31, 2012. Cousin Pernice Is Dead. What up in the kingdom, yo? This is your lovely fat cousin Pernice writing from beyond the grave. That's right, I'm dead. Deal with it. Pernice is a ghost. So what? There's something I need to tell you, that I only learned about after my death, from beyond your current sphere of existence. In heaven, where I am right now because I was a pretty decent guy and that's all it takes. In heaven, girls' titties are off the motherfucking hook! Get up here, playa!
kiddouche.blogspot.com
Kid Douche: February 2014
http://kiddouche.blogspot.com/2014_02_01_archive.html
Sunday, February 23, 2014. Obama and His Secret Cat Food Addiction. Barack Obama eats cat food. It's all he eats, in fact. Sure, he'll pretend to eat a hot dog at the state fair for a photo-op, but as soon as the photos are taken, he spits that wiener out with violent force. One of his aides brings him a spoonful of Meow Mix and he lets out a low moan of pleasure as the fishy slop hits his tongue. "That's what I'm talking about! That gets you all riled up, huh? Well, I'm riled up, too! Udder Blogs I Like.
kiddouche.blogspot.com
Kid Douche: March 2014
http://kiddouche.blogspot.com/2014_03_01_archive.html
Saturday, March 1, 2014. Flash Your High Beams. Posted by Kid Douche. How to Buy a Used Fridge. HATE FILLED BULLET POINTS. I don't trust anybody else's idea of clean. You all missed a spot. I don't think I'd buy a used car from an obese man. The suspension is probably all fucked up. Who knows what that guy's been eating in the car on the way home from work, hiding his food intake from his very patient wife. So suck a toaster strudel, ya porcine shit slurpers! Posted by Kid Douche. Flash Your High Beams.
kiddouche.blogspot.com
Kid Douche: August 2011
http://kiddouche.blogspot.com/2011_08_01_archive.html
Friday, August 26, 2011. It has always been a secret dream of mine to mine dreams, secretly. OOOOHHHH SHHIITT! Posted by Kid Douche. Labels: rhythm is a dancer in the dark crystal. Subscribe to: Posts (Atom). Udder Blogs I Like. Scotch and Salad - poems. Big List of Dead People - blog. Extinguish Me - blog. Moses and bean- comic blog. E-mails from an Asshole. Fart Party - comic blog. Jah Jah Sphinx - photos. Street Boners and TV Carnage. Bad Seed Hot Sauce. Subscribe in a reader.
