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The Dad Scene: July 2014

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With making time stop. Spoiler alert: So far, despite Herculean efforts, I am not succeeding. Now, why would somebody want to do such a thing? Okay, so it’s not that big a mystery. Most people want the same thing. For time to slow down. But what was the impetus in my case? The Doozer finished Kindergarten. I’m not ready to have one in my house. What do I do with a first grader? I just want this moment to last forever. And this one. (Bubbles! Have we doomed them simply by bringing them into the world?

thedadscene.blogspot.com

The Dad Scene: The Mom Scene

http://thedadscene.blogspot.com/2014/10/the-mom-scene.html

On a recent afternoon, I texted my wife to see how her day was going. And this was her response. 6:38 am: 6:38, 6:38, 6:38. Everyday this kid wakes up at 6:38. It’s like we’re in a ratings-desperate spin-off of Lost. And the numbers 6-3-8 are super important but no one knows why. Not 6:37, no thank you. 6:40? I will rise at 6:38 every morning, regardless of the time I fell asleep the night before, and you will begin catering to my every whim. Got it, lady? 7:12 am: Recall that when I was first pregnant, ...

thedadscene.blogspot.com

The Dad Scene: I Believe the Children Are Our Future

http://thedadscene.blogspot.com/2014/09/i-believe-children-are-our-future.html

I Believe the Children Are Our Future. It’s true. They are. I don’t quibble with that. The late, great Whitney was onto something. It’s the second part of her sentiment that troubles me. Teach them well and let them lead the way. Here’s the problem. As a parent, I spend a great deal of time feeling like Nick Burns, your company’s computer guy. They’re just so slow. And sloppy. And erratic. All the time. Their incompetence, inability to follow simple directions (or even to just hear. 8220;They are children.

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The Dad Scene: September 2014

http://thedadscene.blogspot.com/2014_09_01_archive.html

I Believe the Children Are Our Future. It’s true. They are. I don’t quibble with that. The late, great Whitney was onto something. It’s the second part of her sentiment that troubles me. Teach them well and let them lead the way. Here’s the problem. As a parent, I spend a great deal of time feeling like Nick Burns, your company’s computer guy. They’re just so slow. And sloppy. And erratic. All the time. Their incompetence, inability to follow simple directions (or even to just hear. 8220;They are children.

thedadscene.blogspot.com

The Dad Scene: November 2013

http://thedadscene.blogspot.com/2013_11_01_archive.html

An Open Letter to Peter Rabbit. So, my 1-year-old son is obsessed with you. Obsessed. And it’s starting to worry me. Plain and simple, I do not think that you are a good role model. I know watching you calms him down enough so that we can keep him from wiggling around for 30 seconds to clip all his toenails and fingernails. I suppose that’s worth something. But I definitely worry about the “lessons” that you’re imparting to him. What kind of lifestyle choices are these? Where’s the future in this? Accord...

thedadscene.blogspot.com

The Dad Scene: Me Time

http://thedadscene.blogspot.com/2014/09/me-time.html

When you’re a family, you share everything. Space, meals, the TV. Good times and bad times. And sickness. Oh, the humanity. The sickness. Like the world’s worst game of tag, illnesses pass between kids, from kids to parents, from parents to kids. They just tear through the populace like a plague. Literally. You spend so much time teaching your kids to share and then all of a sudden you wish you could make it stop. And you can’t. It’s etched into your brain and you’re unable to banish it. Of course, there...

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The Dad Scene: March 2014

http://thedadscene.blogspot.com/2014_03_01_archive.html

We have a 2-year-old. It’s official. We have no more babies. In fact, he was more than eager to tell me just that. Recently, I was conversing with the Doozer about the present sleeping arrangements in our house (the two currently share a bedroom, not ideal for anyone, including us). And when I put forth the theoretical notion that if we moved to a new house, they could each have their own room, the Doozer wasn’t interested. I mean, not even a little bit. Are you trying to break my heart? He stopped calli...

thedadscene.blogspot.com

The Dad Scene: December 2013

http://thedadscene.blogspot.com/2013_12_01_archive.html

Love Actually Is Making a Superhero Dollhouse For Your Kid For Christmas. It seems to me now that you don’t really know how much you love your kids until it’s 1 am on Christmas Eve and you’re hand-cranking tiny hooks into the wall of a “superhero dollhouse” (that the wife and you have constructed out of an IKEA bookcase) to hang miniature keys, arrows, and “extra capes” on. (No, really. This is our life.). So, we got a bookcase from IKEA. With four cubes/compartments. The four rooms of the house woul...