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Monday, 19 July 2010. I think I'm afraid of finding her. I've taken to drinking in the evenings to help me forget the empty space in bed besides me. I often wake in the night and grope my way to the bathroom for a piss. And in the hours of fitful sleep that follow I dream I'm playing the perfect poker session, my stack growing ever higher. But today I slept to dreams which woke me almost crying. I told her "No! Why couldn't she understand what I was trying to achieve? She said "I have to go" and her hand...

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Monday, 19 July 2010. I think I'm afraid of finding her. I've taken to drinking in the evenings to help me forget the empty space in bed besides me. I often wake in the night and grope my way to the bathroom for a piss. And in the hours of fitful sleep that follow I dream I'm playing the perfect poker session, my stack growing ever higher. But today I slept to dreams which woke me almost crying. I told her No! Why couldn't she understand what I was trying to achieve? She said I have to go and her hand...

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Isildur1 blog | isildur1blog.blogspot.com Reviews

https://isildur1blog.blogspot.com

Monday, 19 July 2010. I think I'm afraid of finding her. I've taken to drinking in the evenings to help me forget the empty space in bed besides me. I often wake in the night and grope my way to the bathroom for a piss. And in the hours of fitful sleep that follow I dream I'm playing the perfect poker session, my stack growing ever higher. But today I slept to dreams which woke me almost crying. I told her "No! Why couldn't she understand what I was trying to achieve? She said "I have to go" and her hand...

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isildur1blog.blogspot.com

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Isildur1 blog: July 2010

http://isildur1blog.blogspot.com/2010_07_01_archive.html

Monday, 19 July 2010. I think I'm afraid of finding her. I've taken to drinking in the evenings to help me forget the empty space in bed besides me. I often wake in the night and grope my way to the bathroom for a piss. And in the hours of fitful sleep that follow I dream I'm playing the perfect poker session, my stack growing ever higher. But today I slept to dreams which woke me almost crying. I told her "No! Why couldn't she understand what I was trying to achieve? She said "I have to go" and her hand...

2

Isildur1 blog: March 2010

http://isildur1blog.blogspot.com/2010_03_01_archive.html

Saturday, 27 March 2010. In the past few days I took my video camera around Uddevalla:. The East train station:. This is how I feel on the inside:. Getting the bus home after seeing my therapist:. A little ambient number near the police station. This would have been longer, but I nearly got hit by a train:. Sunday, 21 March 2010. The day after I lost $1.5 million, I was half-awakened by my mother through my bedroom door. "Get up! The window cleaner is here! If normal life is a 20 - talking to a pretty gi...

3

Isildur1 blog

http://isildur1blog.blogspot.com/2010/03/it-is-difficult-to-write-at-times-like.html

Thursday, 11 March 2010. In those last few hours against OMGClayAiken, I was in such a trance I thought it more likely I’d pass out than stop playing. And since I couldn’t win all the money on FTP, what other ending could there be than a massive loss? How can they walk away, treating trivial, avoidable encounters in their daily lives as more important than the possibility of an epic game, and potentially an epic win? Was it a loss of nerve by him? When I got into bed, I erased any thought from my mind&#4...

4

Isildur1 blog

http://isildur1blog.blogspot.com/2010/03/my-psychotherapist-bengt-is-supposed-to.html

Monday, 15 March 2010. My psychotherapist, Bengt, is supposed to stop me being such a degenerate, but he doesn't even know how to play PLO. My parents say I have to see him if I'm to continue living in their house. They see my gambling as an offense against labour and God. They were recommended him by our neighbour, with whose nymphomaniacal daughter, Molly, he apparently did great things. He asks what I want out of life and what my goals are, and how I might achieve them. He's explained his role as ...

5

Isildur1 blog

http://isildur1blog.blogspot.com/2010/03/yesterday-i-lost-last-60k-in-my-ftp.html

Saturday, 13 March 2010. Yesterday I lost the last $60k in my FTP account. Early afternoon I started multi-tabling Jungleman at 50/100 hold'em. I've beaten him before. With a good run I'd soon have $150k. Then I'd ask him to move up the stakes and I'd have $300k. I'd go through opponents and by nightfall I might have a million again. I've done it so many times before. 14 March 2010 at 02:17. Is this realy u isildur ur a mad gambler like me. 14 March 2010 at 03:15. Thats what U deserve! You say the terms ...

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Isildur1 blog

Monday, 19 July 2010. I think I'm afraid of finding her. I've taken to drinking in the evenings to help me forget the empty space in bed besides me. I often wake in the night and grope my way to the bathroom for a piss. And in the hours of fitful sleep that follow I dream I'm playing the perfect poker session, my stack growing ever higher. But today I slept to dreams which woke me almost crying. I told her "No! Why couldn't she understand what I was trying to achieve? She said "I have to go" and her hand...

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