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It could only happen to...: August 2011

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Friday, 26 August 2011. You WILL be rescued. My thanks to Martin B. for another story from the captain's log! I had just purchased a boat and was on my moorings checking things out. A friend telephoned and asked where I was. On telling him he asked if he could bring his kids down to see the new vessel. Once on board with his family I suggested they might like a quick trip as I needed to check the boat. At 8am my telephone rang. It was my friend, “Where are you? 8221; Undaunted by his obvious mistake the ...

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It could only happen to...: July 2011

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Saturday, 30 July 2011. My thanks to Martin B. for this seafarer's tale. We were on a sail training boat so it's not always possible to guarantee the abilities of crew. We were anchored in Osborne Bay just to the East of Cowes and running anchor watches. It was around 11pm. A willing crew member, obviously keen to impress, offered to make a hot drink. He tuned to the Mate and said “Excuse me sir, how long do I boil the water for to make tea? Posted by It could only happen to. Friday, 29 July 2011. As I n...

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It could only happen to...: A clean getaway

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Friday, 9 September 2011. Like most people I would sometimes forget to lock my car at night. Sadly this wasn’t missed by some crooks who took advantage. On one such occasion it turned out that my car and many others in the road had been targeted by thieves. Those cars that were locked however suffered damage whilst mine, well, they just opened the door and helped themselves. Speaking to the cashier she arranged to stop the cheque. “Did they steal anything else? 8221; she asked. Follow us on Twitter.

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It could only happen to...: The dog's dinner

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Monday, 12 September 2011. As you get older and wiser you start to trust your sense of smell and together with a greater caution and respect for food mistakes, in particular, with raw meat tend to be rare. As a trial they accepted but I never received a penny from the stingy gits! But mum’s mention of a pie gave me the idea to cook a chicken pie with lashings of sauce. The meal had been set for Tuesday night because none of us had any classes until the following afternoon – that meant a piss up. In the m...

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It could only happen to...: Feels right

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Wednesday, 21 September 2011. My husband and I would often share raincoats so it was not unusual for mine to go missing. In Tunisia my hubby was in a very important meeting. He was smoking a cigar when the gentlemen opposite asked if he had any more. Sorry no. Then he patted ‘my coat’ and felt what he believed were cigars. Oh, yes I do, he exclaimed and whipped them out enthusiastically only to discover that they were the white plastic applicators for my tampax. Posted by It could only happen to.

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It could only happen to...: Prime position

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Monday, 19 September 2011. Before 9/11 shut off the flight cabin from passengers I was a regular 3. Pilot Well, not so much piloting the aircraft but having a great time chatting to the captain and co-pilot. Working in Norway I took regular flights from Heathrow to and from Oslo airport. The final approach over London was always a joy. As soon as I landed I reached him on his mobile. Why haven’t you left already? Posted by It could only happen to. Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom). Follow us on Twitter.

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It could only happen to...: Not so discreet

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Tuesday, 20 September 2011. I entered the pub with several guys, well I was on a male dominated course. With our drinks we found a table. Placing my glass, keys, lighter and pack of fags on the table I excused myself. When I returned from the ladies the guys were jittery and obviously embarrassed about something. Turns out it was a pack of Lil-lets. Posted by It could only happen to. Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom). Follow us on Twitter. Our Facebook page - please Like! It could only happen to my dog.

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It could only happen to...: A dogs dinner

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Thursday, 8 September 2011. The meal had taken days to plan and hours to prepare. A starter, main course and dessert. Champagne with nibbles, soft music, candles and dimmed lights throughout the house. I was going all out to impress. I had the house to myself so was able to clean the place, establishing a tranquil atmosphere compared to the usual chaos that came from having 3 children, 2 cats and a lively dog. Hopefully, in due course, I might even manage to steer the mood. It had been a long time. The d...

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It could only happen to...: June 2011

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Thursday, 30 June 2011. The dog cat cher. The wonderful illustration on my blog's homepage is by the very talented Claire Kiernan of CartoonArts (www.cartoonarts.co.uk). here's the story behind the incident. I would often take my Boxer dog Billy when visiting my mother at the care home. The residents loved him and he enjoyed the extra attention. Posted by It could only happen to. Wednesday, 29 June 2011. It could only happen to. me. It Could Only Happen To. Some of the funniest stories you will have hear...