columnistaprilthorn.blogspot.com
Seriously?: July 2010
http://columnistaprilthorn.blogspot.com/2010_07_01_archive.html
A delicate blend of wit, sarcasm and truth. Saturday, July 10, 2010. Shaken - to my core. An acquaintance takes something out of a bag pops it in their mouth and follows it with a gulp out of a water bottle. I thought it was some sort of health supplement for weight loss. What'd you just take? I'm always interested in losing weight, even if I never actually lose any. Effexor," was the one word response matter-of-factly stated. I didn't have an answer for that," my acquaintance said. My mouth must have dr...
columnistaprilthorn.blogspot.com
Seriously?: August 2010
http://columnistaprilthorn.blogspot.com/2010_08_01_archive.html
A delicate blend of wit, sarcasm and truth. Monday, August 23, 2010. I gotta get into the Gap. I think I’ve found my perfect, dream job. Only it’s not so much a job as it is a hobby. But it’s not really a hobby as it is …. Me buying things and then letting others know what I think of it. See - - a perfect job for me! My love of shopping, writing and telling my opinion all wrapped up into one perfect career. Yeah, I’m pretty special. It’s pretty much three minutes of pure bliss. Now, if I can only find ou...
columnistaprilthorn.blogspot.com
Seriously?: Marshalltown -- thy name was swill
http://columnistaprilthorn.blogspot.com/2010/04/marshalltown-thy-name-was-swill.html
A delicate blend of wit, sarcasm and truth. Thursday, April 8, 2010. Marshalltown - thy name was swill. Marshalltown has a coffeehouse! Marshalltown has a coffeehouse! Marshalltown has a coffeehouse! No, I'm not excited or anything. Today I decide to be optimistic - a rare feat I know - and had enough courage to put this new place to the test. And it was, in a word, great! The sky might be falling. Haven - maximum occupancy 32 - you're on my new favorites list. April 9, 2010 at 10:34 PM. Is this hysteria...
columnistaprilthorn.blogspot.com
Seriously?: June 2010
http://columnistaprilthorn.blogspot.com/2010_06_01_archive.html
A delicate blend of wit, sarcasm and truth. Wednesday, June 2, 2010. A fashion don't on the Mtown streets. I don't get it. I don't get it and really, I just don't want to. I know Iowans always take the warming temperatures to extremes. After a long, cold, white winter it is understandable why, when the sun shines just a little and climbs above 50 degrees, shorts and flip flops come out. I get that. I don't get it. It's summer out there - the temperatures will only get hotter - be careful. Great minds dis...
columnistaprilthorn.blogspot.com
Seriously?: Those with manners are a dying breed
http://columnistaprilthorn.blogspot.com/2010/04/those-with-manners-are-dying-breed.html
A delicate blend of wit, sarcasm and truth. Sunday, April 11, 2010. Those with manners are a dying breed. I know we have turned into an extremely casual and informal society. Because of this lackadaisical attitude, manners have fallen to the wayside and common courtesy seems to be too much to ask for. I recently attended a dance recital. Having been in dance for 12 years while growing up I’m a sucker for a good recital - and besides the unfortunate costume choices dance teachers pick for the he...Speakin...
columnistaprilthorn.blogspot.com
Seriously?: July 2011
http://columnistaprilthorn.blogspot.com/2011_07_01_archive.html
A delicate blend of wit, sarcasm and truth. Wednesday, July 13, 2011. It doesn't matter what language men speak. So there I am, minding my own business in a department store, drooling over the latest rich, radiant color in the Fiestaware line, when I hear, "Voy el bano.". Now, even with 5.5 years of Spanish under my belt and actually retaining very little of it, I knew what this meant: "I'm going to the bathroom.". OK," she pauses after she says the word, looking at her boyfriend. He gives her no response.
columnistaprilthorn.blogspot.com
Seriously?: I gotta get into the Gap
http://columnistaprilthorn.blogspot.com/2010/08/i-gotta-get-into-gap.html
A delicate blend of wit, sarcasm and truth. Monday, August 23, 2010. I gotta get into the Gap. I think I’ve found my perfect, dream job. Only it’s not so much a job as it is a hobby. But it’s not really a hobby as it is …. Me buying things and then letting others know what I think of it. See - - a perfect job for me! My love of shopping, writing and telling my opinion all wrapped up into one perfect career. Yeah, I’m pretty special. It’s pretty much three minutes of pure bliss. Now, if I can only find ou...
columnistaprilthorn.blogspot.com
Seriously?: Refresh and repeat
http://columnistaprilthorn.blogspot.com/2011/04/refresh-and-repeat.html
A delicate blend of wit, sarcasm and truth. Saturday, April 23, 2011. Wow, I'm surprised I even remembered my password, it's been so long. I'm honestly a little scared. When I first started this blog a good friend of mine said, "I hope you keep this up, you're a good writer.". The words hung, thick in the air. I was offended. Why wouldn't I keep this up? I don't know," she said, "Sometimes people get busy, and life gets in the way.". Rather, it was much easier to write when I was getting paid to do so.
columnistaprilthorn.blogspot.com
Seriously?: Reason No. 987 why I hate the Kardashians
http://columnistaprilthorn.blogspot.com/2011/06/reason-no-987-why-i-hate-kardashians.html
A delicate blend of wit, sarcasm and truth. Tuesday, June 21, 2011. Reason No. 987 why I hate the Kardashians. One more reason for me to hate the Kardashians: Kimmy is getting married! And, has registered at Geary's of Beverly Hills for gifts totaling $175,000. For example: An extra large Baccarat crystal vase, $7,850; Baccarat crystal jam jar, $380; two Baccarat crystal ashtrays, $840 each and six Buccellati butter servers, $520 each. How many hungry mouths could this feed? I know it was everything I ha...
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