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The Calapai Report: January 2007
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Fake Sports News. Real Funny Stuff! Tuesday, January 09, 2007. Authorities Thwart Davis Plan To Nuke Oakland. WASHINGTON, DC - Federal authorities say they broke up a plan by Al Davis to launch a nuclear attack in the city of Oakland. Sources say the Raiders owner saw the success the New Orleans Saints enjoyed after tragedy struck their city, and hoped to replicate that in Oakland. Oakland Mayor Jerry Brown said he was not alarmed. Are you kdding me? Sen John Kerry Endorses, Then Condemns Saban Move.
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The Calapai Report: December 2007
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Fake Sports News. Real Funny Stuff! Wednesday, December 12, 2007. ARod Demands To Be Included In The Mitchell Report. NEW YORK - New York Yankees third baseman Alex Rodrigeuz today insisted that if his name is not included in the Mitchell Report, he will work with his agent, Scott Boras, to make the report is amended to include him. As I've said repeatedly: ARod isn't afraid of greatness," agent Scott Boras said. Petrino Resigns As Arkansas Coach. Tuesday, December 11, 2007. Blank then went on to say he ...
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The Calapai Report: ARod Demands To Be Included In The Mitchell Report
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Fake Sports News. Real Funny Stuff! Wednesday, December 12, 2007. ARod Demands To Be Included In The Mitchell Report. NEW YORK - New York Yankees third baseman Alex Rodrigeuz today insisted that if his name is not included in the Mitchell Report, he will work with his agent, Scott Boras, to make the report is amended to include him. As I've said repeatedly: ARod isn't afraid of greatness," agent Scott Boras said. Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom). ARod Demands To Be Included In The Mitchell Report.
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The Calapai Report: An Advertisement With Peyton Manning
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Fake Sports News. Real Funny Stuff! Tuesday, February 06, 2007. An Advertisement With Peyton Manning. Due to financial constraints, we will occassionally devote some space to Mr. Peyton Manning to share his latest offers with you. Now that he is a Super Bowl MVP and he has never met a commerical he doesn't like, this will be a frequent segment.). Hi, I'm Super Bowl MVP Peyton Manning, and when I'm attempting to murder my astronaught boyfriend's lover, I only use Pepper Johnson-brand pepper spray! I have ...
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The Calapai Report: May 2006
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Fake Sports News. Real Funny Stuff! Wednesday, May 03, 2006. WEEI's Dennis and Callahan To Debut "Whiteys". BOSTON - The WEEI "Dennis and Callahan" morning show will debut a new feature at the end of their show called "The Whitey Line.". Modeled after the popular "Whiner Line" from the afternoon show, hosts Dennis and Callahan will provide a forum for callers to share their views about how the inferiorities minorities. Any actual sports content is not required, a station source said. Monday, May 01, 2006.
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The Calapai Report: December 2006
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Fake Sports News. Real Funny Stuff! Saturday, December 02, 2006. Stop The Manny Insanity! I can't believe the Red Sox are trying to go through with this media-fueled Trade Manny nonsense again. And hopefully its just media hype and the Sox aren't seriously considering this. But if so, let's call the situation out for what it is: Racism and Greed. Moreover, manny is known to not be coorperative to the media, rarely if ever speaking to them. Aha! Remember the METCO Gorilla "joke". If Manny were white, or i...
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The Calapai Report: September 2006
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Fake Sports News. Real Funny Stuff! Thursday, September 28, 2006. Procedure to remove his foot from his mouth was clumsy at best. However, his residence in Coach Coughlin's doghouse should severely limit his stats. Not expected to play in low-profile game vs. Tennessee in Week Four. However, he is expected to be ready for high-profile game vs. Philadelphia in Week Five. Instead of taking on the NFL Record Book, Big Ben this season seems intent on taking on the New England Journal of Medicine. So what we'...
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The Calapai Report: A Pat On The Back
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Fake Sports News. Real Funny Stuff! Tuesday, February 06, 2007. A Pat On The Back. I don't mean to brag, but apparently someone in the NFL - or possibly Prince - is reading my stuff. At Super Bowl XLI, the FAMU Marching Band was in the halftime show, something. A full year earlier. Of course, my idea was to make them the centerpiece of the show, not some novelty sideshow to Prince. But hey, close enough. Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom). Dungy Angers Colts Fans By Not Calling Them Best.
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The Calapai Report: February 2007
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Fake Sports News. Real Funny Stuff! Tuesday, February 06, 2007. Dungy Angers Colts Fans By Not Calling Them "Best". INDIANAPOLIS, IN - Super Bowl winning coach Tony Dungy disappointeed legions of Indianapolis fans with his frank assessment of their place in the American sports heirarchy. I'm glad we could win this for you - the Indianapolis fans - among the Top 20 fan bases in the country, maybe even high teens! Dungy said to a somewhat tepid response. Quarterback Peyton Manning defended his coach. At Su...
