kimmydee-pitchabitch.blogspot.com
Turd Mountain: Flushing Out Feminism
http://kimmydee-pitchabitch.blogspot.com/2015/03/flushing-out-feminism.html
Putting the "ass-y" in "classy" since 2011! Wednesday, March 4, 2015. Congress of the United States is strictly prohibited. I was raised to believe a person’s worth isn’t dependent on what does or doesn’t dangle between their legs, and I guess I was naive enough to think rampant misogyny was something from the dark ages. Or the 1950s. Same diff. Neither era had Lolcats, and that’s just no way to fucking live. Whew Sorry, I got a little carried away there. Must be the PMS! Anyway, this post is not. Insert...
kimmydee-pitchabitch.blogspot.com
Turd Mountain: An Ovary Bite?
http://kimmydee-pitchabitch.blogspot.com/2013/10/an-ovary-bite.html
Putting the "ass-y" in "classy" since 2011! Thursday, October 10, 2013. I think I’ve made clear how much I hate being a chick. I even rebelled against my gender by refusing to grow a respectable set of tits. Hey, some women burn their bras, I took it a step further and just flat out (see what I did there? Have no need for those mammary-muzzling contraptions of titillating torture. But now. well, NOW my genetically inferior reproductive system has really shown its cunty side. I couldn’t write a bett...
snarkyheifer.com
Snarky Heifer: Addressing Envelopes - It's Like Rocket Science, Only Harder
http://www.snarkyheifer.com/2015/04/addressing-envelopes-its-like-rocket.html
Wednesday, April 29, 2015. Addressing Envelopes - It's Like Rocket Science, Only Harder. The fact that "a" should be "an" is not. Lost on me. But I liked the message. Here, so I went with it. Don't hate. Lick to seal. Heh. That's what he said! Anyway. so, I printed out a mailing list and gave a stack of envelopes to the spawn. Here You get to have the honor of addressing these envelopes. What do you mean? Uhm What I mean, is that you need to WRITE ADDRESSES on these mofos so we can put them in the mail.
snarkyheifer.com
Snarky Heifer: October 2014
http://www.snarkyheifer.com/2014_10_01_archive.html
Thursday, October 30, 2014. The Crazy Cat Lady Dream. The youngest spawn is always asking me what I want to be when I grown up. So, I went to college for a bazillion and sixty-three years and changed my career path at least once a year before I settled on an english major - mechanical engineering (NO). psychology (NO). fine arts (NO). teaching (NO). business (NO), , criminal justice again (still NO). and I can't remember what else. I think I'll be a "Crazy Cat Lady" when I grow up. A crazy cat lady, huh?
snarkyheifer.com
Snarky Heifer: June 2015
http://www.snarkyheifer.com/2015_06_01_archive.html
Friday, June 5, 2015. 5 Unique Father's Day Gifts That Are Sure to Please! I'm not gonna lie, Father's Day gifts are hard to buy. Growing up, I never knew what to get my dad. He didn't wear ties like other dads. he didn't drink coffee. he rarely bbq-ed. he didn't play golf. mostly he worked, smoked (a variety of things) and drank. And, I was too young to purchase booze and whatnot. So, if you know a father who is hard to buy for, here are a few unique gift options that are sure to surprise him:. You know...
snarkyheifer.com
Snarky Heifer: December 2013
http://www.snarkyheifer.com/2013_12_01_archive.html
Sunday, December 15, 2013. Being Merry and Gay - It's Not Just For People With Holiday Spirit! I try my best to avoid uncomfortable conversations with my kids. I used to have a knack for changing the subject - like pointing and shouting "LOOK, there's a monkey wearing pink pajamas over there! But, here lately, my brain doesn't seem to churn as quickly as it used to. Momma, what does "gay" mean? Just tell me. I'm 7, I can handle it. At school, Devon said " you know there's a bad word for 'wife'? This kid ...
snarkyheifer.com
Snarky Heifer: Spanx, Non-bras, and Other Shit I Refuse to Shop for with Spawn...
http://www.snarkyheifer.com/2015/06/spanx-non-bras-and-other-shit-i-refuse.html
Monday, June 1, 2015. Spanx, Non-bras, and Other Shit I Refuse to Shop for with Spawn. Before I had kids, I loved to go shopping. Shop, shop, shop! I could shop till I dropped! But, now, nearly 19 years into motherhood, I have learned to completely and thoroughly LOATHE shopping. Very rarely is shopping all about me.and when it is, I'm riddled with guilt because I'm buying MYSELF something when I could be spending money on spawns. What the hell happened to me? During prom season, I had to add "all underg...
snarkyheifer.com
Snarky Heifer: August 2014
http://www.snarkyheifer.com/2014_08_01_archive.html
Saturday, August 16, 2014. I've Been Cheating On My Blog. I agreed to participate in my friend's 30-day blogging challenge. You know, one of those things where they give you a topic to write about every day and you have to put your thinking cap on and get all clever and shit? 1 List 20 random facts about yourself. 2 Describe 3 legitimate fears you have and explain how they became fears. 3 Describe your relationship with your parents. 4 List 10 things you would tell you 16 year-old self, if you could.
snarkyheifer.com
Snarky Heifer: September 2014
http://www.snarkyheifer.com/2014_09_01_archive.html
Sunday, September 28, 2014. Bed Sheets and Spiders. NORMAL people only tuck in the fitted sheet, Hubber.because that's what it's meant for. fitting to the mattress. The flat sheet isn't supposed to be tucked under the mattress! It's supposed to lay FLAT on top! How do YOU know what NORMAL people do? I'm being serious right now. DO NOT tuck my side of the bed in where my feet go. They can't breathe when you do that! Why do you insist on torturing me this way! I leave airholes up around my nose. TAKING A S...
snarkyheifer.com
Snarky Heifer: April 2015
http://www.snarkyheifer.com/2015_04_01_archive.html
Wednesday, April 29, 2015. Addressing Envelopes - It's Like Rocket Science, Only Harder. The fact that "a" should be "an" is not. Lost on me. But I liked the message. Here, so I went with it. Don't hate. Lick to seal. Heh. That's what he said! Anyway. so, I printed out a mailing list and gave a stack of envelopes to the spawn. Here You get to have the honor of addressing these envelopes. What do you mean? Uhm What I mean, is that you need to WRITE ADDRESSES on these mofos so we can put them in the mail.
