phillucas.wordpress.com

nothingrhymeswithcraig.wordpress.com

The pyramid scheme | Nothing Rhymes, With Craig

https://nothingrhymeswithcraig.wordpress.com/2012/11/22/the-pyramid-scheme

Nothing Rhymes, With Craig. I am not crazy and neither is this fox *mimes there being a fox*. November 22, 2012. Dear sirs and/or madams,. However, that is the situation we are now confronted with. We can’t fail to notice, for example, the sheer number of triangular areas marked out for foundation digging in nearby towns, which can not be coincidental. By my estimation, there are five such sites on our cul-de-sac alone, not including our own. 8221; labels you previously supplied us with. Sing the Sorrow ...

nothingrhymeswithcraig.wordpress.com

When pushy comes to shovey | Nothing Rhymes, With Craig

https://nothingrhymeswithcraig.wordpress.com/2013/08/06/when-pushy-comes-to-shovey

Nothing Rhymes, With Craig. I am not crazy and neither is this fox *mimes there being a fox*. When pushy comes to shovey. August 6, 2013. Yes, hello, is that Starz Agency? Yes, I’d like to speak to someone about representation. No, it’s not for me. I’m calling on behalf of my son. How old is he? And you are one of the agents? Good, finally. Some details? Fire away. His name? Do we feed him then? What about if he didn’t get the callback because we’re feeding him too much? Sorry, where were we? Fill in you...

nothingrhymeswithcraig.wordpress.com

“Classic” | Nothing Rhymes, With Craig

https://nothingrhymeswithcraig.wordpress.com/classic

Nothing Rhymes, With Craig. I am not crazy and neither is this fox *mimes there being a fox*. When I have trouble waking up, I try discounting sheep. Just childproofed our flat. Now they’ll never get in. 8221; means you’re either sharing a secret, or you are an air valve. Or, if people don’t know you’re an air valve, it’s both. I have a patchy knowledge of native Americans. I asked the salesman if the car came with GPS. He said “almost” and pointed to the three doctors sat in the back. Every day I look u...

nothingrhymeswithcraig.wordpress.com

August | 2013 | Nothing Rhymes, With Craig

https://nothingrhymeswithcraig.wordpress.com/2013/08

Nothing Rhymes, With Craig. I am not crazy and neither is this fox *mimes there being a fox*. Monthly Archives: August 2013. When pushy comes to shovey. August 6, 2013. Yes, hello, is that Starz Agency? Yes, I’d like to speak to someone about representation. No, it’s not for me. I’m calling on behalf of my son. How old is he? And you are one of the agents? Good, finally. Some details? Fire away. His name? Do we feed him then? Sorry, where were we? Yes, I’ll hold. Oh, you didn’t ask me to hold? Sing the S...

nothingrhymeswithcraig.wordpress.com

Tiny stories: number three | Nothing Rhymes, With Craig

https://nothingrhymeswithcraig.wordpress.com/2014/09/03/tiny-stories-number-three

Nothing Rhymes, With Craig. I am not crazy and neither is this fox *mimes there being a fox*. Tiny stories: number three. September 3, 2014. Stephen realised immediately he had said ‘goodbye’ too early as they both turned to walk in the same direction. After five minutes of silence, the awkwardness was almost unbearable. By the time the waiter came to take their order, the date was basically a complete write-off. 8221; you say, “Wait, more importantly, how could I see that? The closest supermarket was fi...

nothingrhymeswithcraig.wordpress.com

October | 2012 | Nothing Rhymes, With Craig

https://nothingrhymeswithcraig.wordpress.com/2012/10

Nothing Rhymes, With Craig. I am not crazy and neither is this fox *mimes there being a fox*. Monthly Archives: October 2012. Tiny stories: number one. October 28, 2012. Posted in Tiny stories. October 25, 2012. Look, let’s just step back for one minute and consider, just consider, the possibility that I didn’t, in fact, steal this horse. Can you do that? Can you extend me the courtesy of not immediately jumping to the conclusion that I am, to use a selection of your own words, a horse snatcher? And you ...

nothingrhymeswithcraig.wordpress.com

Craig | Nothing Rhymes, With Craig

https://nothingrhymeswithcraig.wordpress.com/author/craigpholmes

Nothing Rhymes, With Craig. I am not crazy and neither is this fox *mimes there being a fox*. Guys, here’s my 2015 stats. January 3, 2016. Weight: 0.45 kg/lbs. 8230;by foot: 38. 8230;by swimming: 8. 8230;by reneging on a verbal contract: 1. Distance ran (in kilometers): 90. Distance ran (in pentameters): Four score and ten kilos lie underfoot. Excessive “punctuation”: 308. 8230;of which were blind: 17. 8230; of which were blind: 9. 8230;of which were blind: 3. 8230;of which were secateurs: 2. It is too e...

nothingrhymeswithcraig.wordpress.com

Tiny stories: number one | Nothing Rhymes, With Craig

https://nothingrhymeswithcraig.wordpress.com/2012/10/28/tiny-stories-number-one

Nothing Rhymes, With Craig. I am not crazy and neither is this fox *mimes there being a fox*. Tiny stories: number one. October 28, 2012. I’d give that marriage less than a year, thought the church gardener as the happy families slowly dispersed through the gates. He often amused himself by thinking such things about the couples he saw pass him by each weekend as he tended to the church grounds. He’d not been wrong yet, a fact to which he was entirely oblivious. This entry was posted in Tiny stories.