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The Get Down: December 2009
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Wednesday, December 16, 2009. I wonder what the Costco version is like. That is one spectacular robot. It's very quick and responsive, seemingly agile, and quite obedient. [We don't need a robot uprising now do we? See Terminators 1-3 or Rosie from the Jetsons when she's angry for reference] Not to mention it's built to resemble a sweet, elderly Asian woman complete with earth tone apparel and the scent of roasted cinnamon. [I think it's the domestic worker model] What could be more endearing? I realize ...
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The Get Down: June 2009
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Friday, June 26, 2009. Could you imagine if imitating the recently deceased in both dress and action became standard protocol for mourning the dead? Posted by Boogie Brown/The Brian. Posted by Boogie Brown/The Brian. Wednesday, June 24, 2009. Mammarial Idiomic Question of the Day. Here's a baffling turn of phrase: tit-for-tat. As used in yesterday's NY Times, ".two Iranian diplomats in a tit-for-tat response." Is this akin to something like toys-for-tots? In other news, it's been recently discovered that...
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The Get Down: April 2009
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Wednesday, April 29, 2009. Cats consume more fecal matter in a year than the average human produces in a week. A single Hot Pocket contains enough cholesterol to fill the entire swimming pool at Disney World's Coronado Springs Resort. In medieval times, clowns initially painted their faces white to mock fair-skinned people of European descent. Medieval whites often had spherical red noses. The muscle used to control the curling of your toes is called the sphincter muscle. The idea of solar power originat...
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The Get Down: November 2009
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Monday, November 30, 2009. Perhaps I'm being too callous. I should instead celebrate the fact that through their fried chicken party, these bold women were simply defying the rigid and ridiculous standards of American beauty (not to be confused with the classic Kevin Spacey film) and in Manhattan no less, an island that has more unsightly skinny people. Than North Korea (eww concentration camp joke? Posted by Boogie Brown/The Brian. Tuesday, November 24, 2009. Or should I say "Aw Shucks? Belly flop : was...
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The Get Down: Dear Brazen Woman on the Train Clipping Her Fingernails,
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Monday, December 14, 2009. Dear Brazen Woman on the Train Clipping Her Fingernails,. I realize that people eat on the train, study on the train, sleep on the train, and all sorts of things they might not otherwise have enough time for. But clipping your nails? This is not a ticker-tape parade; no one asked for your nail confetti. Yes, I think that's an appropriate analogy, and the answer is no, no you would not like it. My pubes are filthy. Cut your nails anywhere and everywhere! Great writing man haha.
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The Get Down: August 2009
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Sunday, August 30, 2009. The Boogie Brown's Get Down International Spectacular Blog Signing Booty Shaking Body Snaking Tour (that's the annotated title) was extremely extensive and extravagant. I went to. More insights from my travels later, so in the meantime, konichiwait. Posted by Boogie Brown/The Brian. Monday, August 24, 2009. There, I wrote one. Satisfied, world? Posted by Boogie Brown/The Brian. Friday, August 7, 2009. He eats a turkey leg while shitting.DB! He's one of the wiggles.DB! He wears so...
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The Get Down: October 2009
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Sunday, October 25, 2009. After searching my nose this morning for candy and other buried treasure, I discovered a single white nose hair (not to be confused with a single white female). Is this an indication of old age? Is my time on this planet starting its slow painful descent to the grave? Am I gradually transforming into Santa Claus? Sidebar: If I yank, then I am the yanker and therefore, the hair would be the yankee. If that's the case, who is the yanker of the yankees? Thursday, October 22, 2009.
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The Get Down: An Exercise in GREATitude
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Friday, December 11, 2009. An Exercise in GREATitude. So my self-help podcast guy has been teaching me to practice greatitude. [Shakespearean aside: Isn't it ironic that you have to go to someone else for self-help? Get that mouse a Benadryl and a straw. I digress. [Aside #2: Why do we say "I digress? Why assert what we are doing exactly at that moment? I am a unique snowflake landing atop the tongue of life. I am a leaf on the wind. Watch how I soar. I am a butterfuly emerging from its cocoon. Posted by...
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The Get Down: July 2009
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Tuesday, July 28, 2009. The Funniest Words in the English Language. The Funniest Words in the English Language:. Words like "pussyfoot" and "titmouse" are good too but that may be pushing the envelope with HR. Join us tomorrow when I present the funniest words in the Sanskrit language. Posted by Boogie Brown/The Brian. Wednesday, July 22, 2009. Robo-sauruses (or is it Robo-sauri? I even dressed up the neighbor's dog like a T-rex and practiced running away from it. Since then, dinosaurs have been woven in...
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The Get Down: A Freezing Morning
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Wednesday, December 2, 2009. Instead of "woof woof." The man continued to smile and laugh as he ordered breakfast. Juan responded with the universal smile-and-nod often reserved for speakers of a language you don't understand and/or psychopaths. I'll let you decide which was the case here. What the hell is going on? My internal monologue said. Did Zack Morris call a timeout? Did Evie from Out of This World touch her two index fingers together? Have you ever tried doing that action yourself? Boogie B: a n...