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All The King's Horses

Tuesday, 28 August 2012. A Palindrome Dad is not the Same Thing as a Dad. My therapist says my dad is a parasite, feeding off me. Even now. He fed off me all through my childhood. just fed and fed and fed and fed. never giving me anything good in return. He gave me life but spent my entire childhood trying to suck it out of me. and now he doesn't have contact with me but he's still sucking. I was a non-person there to serve him and to take care of his responsibilities. What about his responsibilities?

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All The King's Horses | puzzledhat.blogspot.com Reviews

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Tuesday, 28 August 2012. A Palindrome Dad is not the Same Thing as a Dad. My therapist says my dad is a parasite, feeding off me. Even now. He fed off me all through my childhood. just fed and fed and fed and fed. never giving me anything good in return. He gave me life but spent my entire childhood trying to suck it out of me. and now he doesn't have contact with me but he's still sucking. I was a non-person there to serve him and to take care of his responsibilities. What about his responsibilities?

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5 child abuse

6 denial

7 family

8 father

9 fatherless

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All The King's Horses | puzzledhat.blogspot.com Reviews

https://puzzledhat.blogspot.com

Tuesday, 28 August 2012. A Palindrome Dad is not the Same Thing as a Dad. My therapist says my dad is a parasite, feeding off me. Even now. He fed off me all through my childhood. just fed and fed and fed and fed. never giving me anything good in return. He gave me life but spent my entire childhood trying to suck it out of me. and now he doesn't have contact with me but he's still sucking. I was a non-person there to serve him and to take care of his responsibilities. What about his responsibilities?

INTERNAL PAGES

puzzledhat.blogspot.com

1

All The King's Horses: January 2012

http://puzzledhat.blogspot.com/2012_01_01_archive.html

Friday, 6 January 2012. So here I am again, trying to find the words to write. I'm not feeling particularly eloquent so please bear with me! It's been a while since I last wrote. I've started seeing a new therapist after a while of not really doing therapy (at least not in a productive way - my last therapist was more of a hindrance than a help tbh). I've started my PhD, which I'm so so happy about (feels like its been a huge fight to get to this point but now I even have a scholarship! I spoke to her ab...

2

All The King's Horses: June 2011

http://puzzledhat.blogspot.com/2011_06_01_archive.html

Thursday, 16 June 2011. This Sunday, it's Father's Day. I guess for most people, this is a happy day - a day to celebrate having a wonderful dad, and showing your appreciation for all he's done. For people like me, it's a very painful day. There seems to be a trend on places like Facebook these days, where people post things 'in honour' of certain things relevant to upcoming holidays or special days. Today I saw this:. Posted by Puzzled Hat. For survivors of abuse. Thursday, 9 June 2011. It can be so eas...

3

All The King's Horses: August 2012

http://puzzledhat.blogspot.com/2012_08_01_archive.html

Tuesday, 28 August 2012. A Palindrome Dad is not the Same Thing as a Dad. My therapist says my dad is a parasite, feeding off me. Even now. He fed off me all through my childhood. just fed and fed and fed and fed. never giving me anything good in return. He gave me life but spent my entire childhood trying to suck it out of me. and now he doesn't have contact with me but he's still sucking. I was a non-person there to serve him and to take care of his responsibilities. What about his responsibilities?

4

All The King's Horses: February 2012

http://puzzledhat.blogspot.com/2012_02_01_archive.html

Monday, 13 February 2012. When I was in my early teens, I was given an assignment at school on Valentine's Day to write an essay that answered the question "Love is? Credit: www.xkcd.com. Give it to the other person or keep it for yourself? I said "give it to the other person". It wouldn't really occur to me that there was an alternative option. Love to me means giving up your own life to save another. I guess in a way that is. Credit: http:/ loveislove.me. So my question is, what does love mean? When yo...

5

All The King's Horses: The Courage to Use Words...

http://puzzledhat.blogspot.com/2011/02/courage-to-use-words.html

Wednesday, 23 February 2011. The Courage to Use Words. There are words that are used to describe certain things that as a survivor I absolutely hate to hear, never mind use. They make my stomach flip head over heels and everything in me tries to shut them out - as if by not allowing myself to connect to them I remain untouched by them. Wouldn't it be nice if people would choose their words more carefully when they make jokes or simply throw words around without considering what they actually mean? On the...

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getthis.cairngrow.net

Get this...: About Me

http://getthis.cairngrow.net/p/about-me_25.html

Woven stories of my childhood abuse. These are the memories of the brain damaged, Post Traumatic Stress Disordered Enterprise. I am about to boldly go where no wo-man has really. February 8, 2012 at 10:47 AM. Thank you for sharing your story of abuse and survival. When we share our stories, which arent for the faint-hearted, we pass our courage on to other survivors and give them permission to share their stories too. I do the same with my own blog Spiritual Journey Of A Lightworker. Cairn, it would be a...

getthis.cairngrow.net

Get this...: Outside the Triangle

http://getthis.cairngrow.net/2012/04/outside-triangle.html

Woven stories of my childhood abuse. Tuesday, April 17, 2012. I am 40 years old. This day of work has been curious. I have had two students in the high school where I am employed tell me their deepest troubles. One has been treading water for too long. She has had a rough upbringing and in trying to survive her lot at such a young age, she is pregnant and hooked on drugs. She thinks she has a venereal disease too. Help for Teens at PP. Posted by Cairn Grow. Labels: About my work in HS. Jeff sent me. ...

getthis.cairngrow.net

Get this...: May 2012

http://getthis.cairngrow.net/2012_05_01_archive.html

Woven stories of my childhood abuse. No posts. Show all posts. No posts. Show all posts. Subscribe to: Posts (Atom). Reader's discretion advised. Some content can trigger anxiety and unsettling memories. Get This on Facebook. After the Stick Turned Blue. Are You Exhausted from Trying to Be Stronger than You Feel? Childhood Sexual Abuse in British Schools. #childabuse. Beyond the Tears: A True Survivor's Story. On Father's Day 2016 via Tolson 4 TEARS*. A rape survivors blog. It's been a long time.

getthis.cairngrow.net

Get this...: April 2012

http://getthis.cairngrow.net/2012_04_01_archive.html

Woven stories of my childhood abuse. Tuesday, April 17, 2012. I am 40 years old. This day of work has been curious. I have had two students in the high school where I am employed tell me their deepest troubles. One has been treading water for too long. She has had a rough upbringing and in trying to survive her lot at such a young age, she is pregnant and hooked on drugs. She thinks she has a venereal disease too. Help for Teens at PP. Posted by Cairn Grow. Labels: About my work in HS. I am approaching w...

getthis.cairngrow.net

Get this...: Walking Near Men

http://getthis.cairngrow.net/2012/04/walking-near-men.html

Woven stories of my childhood abuse. Tuesday, April 10, 2012. I am nine years old. There has been the same man lurking. By the fairground gates every day this week as I walk to and from school. His eyes follow me like schooling fish every time I pass- pirañas. I walk slowly, as if to unflappably feign recognition. But my insides are a mudslide, everything falling to my stomach, dense and churning. As he gives chase, I realize I do have something very pubescent and helpless that he wants. I know that ...

getthis.cairngrow.net

Get this...: Resources

http://getthis.cairngrow.net/p/resources.html

Woven stories of my childhood abuse. This is a page of links and resources concerning child abuse and its prevention. Wounded Warrior- Signs indicating possible abuse of a child. Prevent Child Abuse Vermont. Adult Male Survivors of Sexual Abuse. Prevention and Treatment of Child Abuse. National Association of Adult Survivors of Child Abuse-Statistics and SO much more. Petitions- things you can do to help. A Ready Heart-My friend's brave blog. The Wounded Warrior-A brave man's blog about his abuse. A Pali...

getthis.cairngrow.net

Get this...: February 2012

http://getthis.cairngrow.net/2012_02_01_archive.html

Woven stories of my childhood abuse. Monday, February 27, 2012. I am 11 years old. I am sweeping the dirt away from the front driveway. I have been at it for hours. It's a windy day. My stepfather says that is the perfect weather for this chore. I know that it isn't, but I keep on, knowing that the alternative will be more painful than my weeping, blistered hands and aching back. I lay still, accounting for each part of my body- what might be bleeding, broken or just bruised. There is damage, but I h...

getthis.cairngrow.net

Get this...: March 2012

http://getthis.cairngrow.net/2012_03_01_archive.html

Woven stories of my childhood abuse. Saturday, March 31, 2012. Because I am useless beyond the chores that I do, I am allowed to see my best friend more often. I think he likes to send me off with her knowing that I would never dare speak of so many years of molding, finessing, oppressing. We both know that his terror tactics will keep his doings deeply cellared. I meet my friend's eye as she emerges from the stall and rushes to me. Now I know. She knows too. What should we do now? Posted by Cairn Grow.

getthis.cairngrow.net

Get this...: Questions?

http://getthis.cairngrow.net/p/questions.html

Woven stories of my childhood abuse. I am happy to answer your questions. Please leave them as a comment here and I will respond. February 6, 2012 at 1:30 AM. Since you mention it, what ever did happen to him? Did he go to jail? Did his family find out? February 6, 2012 at 10:19 AM. Hs family found out because my brother and I told them! He died in his young 60s of a massive heart attack. Just dropped dead. I went to his funeral. Maybe i will write about that next. :). February 6, 2012 at 11:23 AM. 1You ...

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All The King's Horses

Tuesday, 28 August 2012. A Palindrome Dad is not the Same Thing as a Dad. My therapist says my dad is a parasite, feeding off me. Even now. He fed off me all through my childhood. just fed and fed and fed and fed. never giving me anything good in return. He gave me life but spent my entire childhood trying to suck it out of me. and now he doesn't have contact with me but he's still sucking. I was a non-person there to serve him and to take care of his responsibilities. What about his responsibilities?

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