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Commuted Sentences: December 2005

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Friday, December 23, 2005. When I am a man, I will be an astronaut and find Peter Pan. For some reason, I have received in the mail the January 2006 issue of Men's Journal. It encourages me on the cover to LIVE THE ADVENTUROUS LIFE and FIND YOUR Paradise. Build a Dream Cabin, it suggests, or Captain Your Own Sailboat for a Week. It promises to tell me about Up-and-Coming Caribbean Hot Spots. What it doesn't tell me is Who Is The Wiseguy Who Sent Me This Subscription. Posted by Angela at 1:13 PM. Is the C...

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Commuted Sentences: January 2006

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Tuesday, January 31, 2006. I want to 'lectrify my soul. Great moments in Ruby:. Sunday morning, my bedroom; Ruby is demonstrating some princess-y thing to my friend Tara that requires her to spin herself around the canopy on my bed. Me: Hey, Rubes, don’t do that, okay? The curtain’s already torn where you cut it, and if you spin it like that, it’ll tear more. Ruby: You can’t tell me that. Ruby ( walking over to me somewhat menacingly. You can’t say that to me! Me: I can’t say what to you? Me: Yep, you do.

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Commuted Sentences: August 2005

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Monday, August 29, 2005. Taking a break from me, me, me:. Posted by Angela at 2:22 PM. Come hear our beats play, and bust our DJ. I finished Yes Yes Y’all. This morning on the Metro, just as I arrived at my final stop. The whole book is immensely quotable and SO informative and important, but my very favorite quote came right at the end and is from Grand Wizard Theodore (whose name, incidentally, has always perplexed me):. It’s just my life. Due to rapid-fire schedule changes involving a large family din...

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Commuted Sentences: June 2005

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Thursday, June 30, 2005. You've been struck by a smooth criminal. Television Without Pity isn’t recapping 7th Heaven anymore! OH NO How else am I supposed to laugh at that show? I’m not going to watch it myself, that’s for sure. Damn it! By the time I got to work, I had calmed down just in time to get pissed off all over again. I mean.what the hell? How are you going to put your hand in my face? But more important, how are you going to put your hand in my face? There it is, folks, right there. Tote b...

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Commuted Sentences: April 2005

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Friday, April 29, 2005. That Girl, She Holds Her Head Up So High. It figures that I would devise a way to use even snobbery as a weapon against my own self-esteem. If any person were going to be an elitist against oneself, that person would of course be me. What’s an Angry Girl to do? The author wishes to note that she just chased psuedoephedrine with an iced latte, and is thus not responsible for any of the glaring grammatical errors she didn't catch in the first 93 edits to this post.] [Edit to thi...

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Julian Ridley Schrock: September 2005

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Born 7.11.05. 8 pounds - 15 ounces - 21 inches. Thursday, September 29, 2005. You know those moms who can tell you the exact day, time and second their child first said a word or took a step or pooped in something other than a diaper? They can do this 50 years AFTER it happened and remember it so vividly that they can tell you how hot it was outside, what day of the week it was and what they had for dinner that night. I AM NOT ONE OF THOSE MOTHERS. Julian's List of Firsts:. Ate Solid Food: 1/11/06. What'...

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Commuted Sentences: February 2006

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Tuesday, February 28, 2006. But falling over you is the news of the day. Here are some things that are happening here in The Future:. US Group Implants Electronic Tags in Workers. ELECTRONIC TAGS. IN. PEOPLE. IN THEM. INSIDE THEIR BODIES. ELECTRONIC TAGS. I would like it noted that I called this one a few years ago and was accused of tinfoil hattery. I quote Jay-Z: "Whatcha gonna call us now? Venezuelan-Owned Citgo Faces Congressional Inquiry for Offering Discounted Oil to U.S. Poor. Happy Tuesday, y'all!

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Commuted Sentences: September 2005

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Thursday, September 29, 2005. I knew I was asking to get grounded for the what remained of my childhood (I had not even a month before been explicitly told no kittens ), but I also knew there was no way I was leaving him there after that exchange. I have often silently and, I'm ashamed to say, snarkily, wondered about people's attachments to their pets, and the grief I've witnessed at their losses - after all, we lose people all the time, and shouldn't that be more upsetting? Posted by Angela at 7:56 PM.

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Commuted Sentences: May 2005

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Tuesday, May 31, 2005. Fucking fuck you, Ehrlich, you fucking bigoted asshole. Oh noes, they want to codify life partnerships! And then we'll all surely catch The Gay! You dick. What the hell is Maryland even doing with a Republican governor in the first place? Remind me to make it my new life's mission to oust this gross fuck from power. Posted by Angela at 2:03 PM. Thursday, May 26, 2005. Please visit www.unitedworkers.org. Posted by Angela at 4:01 AM. Wednesday, May 25, 2005. Friday, May 20, 2005.

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Commuted Sentences: November 2005

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Wednesday, November 30, 2005. Talk is cheap and baby time's expensive. I think it's the height of hilarity for people who write about politics online to criticize other people who write about politics online for wasting their political breath on the internet instead of in the streets. Especially when you're employing some kind of anti-blog snobbery from inside the confines of a journaling site. I mean? Did I miss when one of these venues became more politically serious than the other? No, really: ? Who's...