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White Stuff: December 2014
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The thoughts and trials of a don't know daddy. Sunday, 28 December 2014. Dads are boys too. It's that time of the holiday period when the pace has eased a little bit and you have time to properly review what gifts have kindly come your way. For my part, this includes my brand new drinking cap - which I'll be testing out very shortly - a pair of Guinness bottle top cuff links and a cocktail-making kit. Spot the theme. Charlotte soon took an active interest too and, before we knew it, all-out war was being...
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White Stuff: Up, up and WAHEY!
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The thoughts and trials of a don't know daddy. Monday, 13 April 2015. Up, up and WAHEY! Well, that was fun. We Whites are just back from three nights in a caravan. I don't care much for tents, but caravans - with their roofs, windows, sofas, cookers, I could go on - will do for me. And the kids like them too, which is kind of relevant in the spirit of a family holiday. This beach, in fact. It was very good to be back. Having got our caravan keys, it was time for Vinny's Disco. Where Jamie was knighted.
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White Stuff: Making a fool of my selfie
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The thoughts and trials of a don't know daddy. Sunday, 3 May 2015. Making a fool of my selfie. Another terrific weekend to live in God's Own County as the inaugural Tour de Yorkshire sped along streets both close and familiar to most of us. After being dragged along to last year's spectacularly successful Tour de France, which spent three days here, today Jamie and Charlotte wheeled along to the new event; Jamie pedalling himself, Charlotte perched on a "lady chair" on the back of my bike. Dont tell my ma.
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White Stuff: It's a BABY!!!
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The thoughts and trials of a don't know daddy. Saturday, 2 May 2015. Unless you've been hiding under a stone since sunrise (and, to be fair, I have woken up under a stone on an occasional Saturday morning), you'll know that a new princess is now amongst us. And I can't tell you how pleased I am that it shot out so quickly. I like a bit of living history as much as the next sad man, but there's only so much Nicholas 'Bloody' Witchell and Kay 'Look At Me' Burley I can take - preferably none at all. I can o...
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White Stuff: North West 200 races? THEY'RE GREEEEEAAAAAAT!
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The thoughts and trials of a don't know daddy. Sunday, 17 May 2015. North West 200 races? I'm just back from the annual North West 200 motorbike races, held in my native Triangle of Coleraine, Portrush and Portstewart. And, as has become an annoying habit in recent years, the weather was "changeable" but somehow I still ended up with a burnt and stripey face. Honestly, I look like a cross between a Swan Vesta and Tony the Tiger. This is not an image I crave. This year I was all set to make a fool of myse...
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White Stuff: January 2015
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The thoughts and trials of a don't know daddy. Thursday, 22 January 2015. I walked up and down Guiseley's main street several times earlier today, before visiting Morrisons to process through the aisles and sign autographs for children. No one spoke to me or even looked at me. Maybe it was because Vanessa wasn't there and people couldn't put one and one together. Actually, thinking about it, I'm not sure I'd recognise Mr Krankie if Wee Jimmy Krankie wasn't there too. Anyhow, VANBAR associates. Oth parent...
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White Stuff: Slashed and burned
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The thoughts and trials of a don't know daddy. Tuesday, 14 April 2015. This is our garden hedge. It's about 10 feet high and I tend to cut it about twice a year, each trim taking not very long at all. It should probably take longer, but I get bored. Why was a mystery for a moment or two. Until the penny dropped. Have a close look at my weapon. Can you see the problem? OK, have another look - at the lead. Yup, mind the gap. I managed to saw my way right through it. Knackered. I'd plugged my now defunct bo...
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White Stuff: Ode to the fallen
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The thoughts and trials of a don't know daddy. Sunday, 10 May 2015. Ode to the fallen. So, how did the General Election go for you? I don't do party politics on here and am not about to start. Suffice to say that Thursday was a very long night. I watched a lot of the coverage back yesterday (I didn't have much else on, alright? And it left me feeling rather downbeat. Before the polls closed on Thursday, I wrote on the VANBAR associates. Many like to call them nasty names and think they know better, but f...
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White Stuff: Our only crime was fashion
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The thoughts and trials of a don't know daddy. Monday, 27 April 2015. Our only crime was fashion. Who are those intrepid men of mystery you can see before you? I hear you cry. Surely). OK, two clues. Clue one. The little people are all proud members of the Aireborough Lions Under 7s rugby squad. Clue two. The bigger person on the left is Kris, their head coach. Still none the wiser? Charlotte even tagged along dressed as a princess. We regroup in September as Aireborough Lions Under 8s. Up, up and WAHEY!
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White Stuff: Puff Daddy
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The thoughts and trials of a don't know daddy. Tuesday, 19 May 2015. I hurt my back carrying Charlotte around Ilkley a couple of weeks ago and have been unable to do any meaningful exercise since. I was complaining about this at teatime yesterday, expressing fears that my forced period of inactivity was adversely affecting my svelte features. Hmmm," pondered Jamie. "How do fat people puff themselves down? I've invited him to join me at the gym in the coming days to find out. View my complete profile.