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Alice In Motherland: Health Care Reform, my way.

http://beckypenningtonpowell.blogspot.com/2010/03/health-care-reform-my-way.html

Formerly known as Ophelia Rising. Friday, March 19, 2010. Health Care Reform, my way. BE IT ENACTED BY THE LEGISLATURE OF THE STATE OF MOMMYTOWN:. Section 1. When seeking presciption drugs or a sick note for work or school, a WebMD diagnosis shall suffice except in the case of Schedule III controlled substances which will require such information as can be printed from your home computer from google.com/health. Section 6. All women having given birth and/or breastfed a child shall be entitled to brea...

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Alice In Motherland: Back On the Bike, Y'all

http://beckypenningtonpowell.blogspot.com/2010/09/back-on-bike-yall.html

Formerly known as Ophelia Rising. Thursday, September 30, 2010. Back On the Bike, Y'all. Oops Almost titled this post "Beck on the Bike." Which would be glorious if it were David Beckam but quite unfortunate of it were that monstrosity Glenn Beck.). YOU CHOOSE. YOU DECIDE. In any case,. Apologies, all, for my hiatus! What Happened at the Mammography Clinic". Two Teachers, a Preacher, and a Stay-At-Home-Mom Walk Into a Tattoo Parlor.". Sign Ideas for Jon Stewart's Rally to Restore Sanity". Insomnia Is a B...

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Alice In Motherland: Of Balls and Boobies, or, What Not to Bring to a Mammogram

http://beckypenningtonpowell.blogspot.com/2010/07/boobzilla-or-t-minus-18-til-mammograma.html

Formerly known as Ophelia Rising. Wednesday, July 7, 2010. Of Balls and Boobies, or, What Not to Bring to a Mammogram. WARNING: This Post Contains Too Much Information. So…this is actually happening. There is a golf ball in my left breast. This is especially alarming as that particular breast is only tennis ball sized in the first place and why am I referring to it singularly as if they’re both not the same size? Like the other one could actually be, like, football sized? In any case you shouldn't worry&...

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Alice In Motherland: A Revised Hurricane Readiness Checklist for My Northern Sisters

http://beckypenningtonpowell.blogspot.com/2011/08/revised-hurricane-readiness-checklist.html

Formerly known as Ophelia Rising. Friday, August 26, 2011. A Revised Hurricane Readiness Checklist for My Northern Sisters. By which I mean a)you seem to be reacting with rather disproportionate panic to the oncoming hurricane forecasted to grace your shores and I feel empathy for you and b) y'all are so dumb. Really, really pretty, but so dumb. Dude I'm SO inviting him to my hurricane party.). Consider disregarding the Saffir-Simpson Hurricane Scale for this one we came up with at UNC (GO HEELS! Just fo...

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Alice In Motherland: Happy Holi-Months

http://beckypenningtonpowell.blogspot.com/2010/11/happy-holi-months.html

Formerly known as Ophelia Rising. Monday, November 1, 2010. Cheetah and/or leopard print. So if you HAD to decorate a tree or anything else to celebrate me on November 6th which is in five days yes I'm talking to you you would have to find something more muted like mulberry and olive. Which spelled backwards turns out to say the words I Don't Look Anything Like Jennifer Aniston. However you should know that Crocs ™. Makes cheetah print foot- OK there are no. Words Crocs ™. Anyway my point is that, as my ...

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Alice In Motherland: The Minivan Chronicles: Episode 4

http://beckypenningtonpowell.blogspot.com/2010/05/minivan-chronicles-episode-4.html

Formerly known as Ophelia Rising. Thursday, May 6, 2010. The Minivan Chronicles: Episode 4. I know, I'm totally getting all George Lucas on you with this Episode Four thing but I'm pretty sure given my history with all things automotive that I'll be writing some prequels at some point in the future. Trust me, YOU CAN'T WAIT for The Minivan Strikes Back.). HOW AWESOME IS THAT? Am not aware of, as Bridger has taken to calling it the Secret Agent Super Ultra Megavan. What's up I'm in an attic. Make it q...

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Alice In Motherland: A Baby Story: Facebook Edition

http://beckypenningtonpowell.blogspot.com/2010/05/baby-story-facebook-edition.html

Formerly known as Ophelia Rising. Sunday, May 9, 2010. A Baby Story: Facebook Edition. Met a really cute boy tonight. Sept 18, 1993 at 7:32 pm. Is now friends with Johnny Powell. Sept 19, 1993 at 9:32 am. Changed his employer to 82nd Airborne. Dec 14, 1993 at 6:00 am. February 28, 1994 at 7:32 pm. Are in a relationship. March 23, 1994 at 11:43 am. Became a fan of L. Iving Happily Ever After. March 30, 1994 at 3:56 pm. Became a fan of Temporary Relationships. February 2, 1996 at 4:32 pm. According to the ...

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Alice In Motherland: To the Trespasser Inside My Left Breast

http://beckypenningtonpowell.blogspot.com/2010/05/to-trespasser-inside-my-left-breast.html

Formerly known as Ophelia Rising. Thursday, May 13, 2010. To the Trespasser Inside My Left Breast. Good morning, intruder. I cannot blame you for your choice of abode. It's warm and soft and nourishing there. My babies would tell you the same. A parasite and do not wish for either now. ). You should have received your eviction papers by now. Yet you persist in your tenancy! And so I inform you that you are banned from travel there and am, in fact, revoking your passport. I should wrap this up as I have t...

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Alice In Motherland: The Cast

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Formerly known as Ophelia Rising. Yours Truly, the Reigning Queen of Mommytown. Her Husband, The Wicked Turkey. Bridger, a.k.a The Boy, a.k.a. B-Man. Part-time ninja, full-time ladies' man, future astronaut. Waverly, a.k.a. Hollywood, a.k.a. The Biscuit. Part mermaid, part siren. Has much muchness. The Retriever, a.k.a. The Destroyer. Soon-to-be ex-Retriever. The Mombulance, a Ford Windstar. Fear its sexiness. Subscribe to: Posts (Atom). A Revised Hurricane Preparedness Checklist for my Northern Sisters.