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Scribbles: Getting Absolutely Smashed

http://thesaucycowblog.blogspot.com/2011/10/getting-absolutely-smashed.html

Saturday, October 29, 2011. Saucy, was your window always. The sentence snapped me from my usual Wednesday afternoon activity of lazing on the couch and glaring expressionlessly at Jeremy Kyles latest batch of tv-zoo-animals with my housemates. Such is the tedium of University life between dragging myself out to lectures, and dragging myself in from nights out. Your window. come here. Was it always like that? Someone had tried to break into the house! Not just into the house, into my. The tv channels of ...

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Scribbles: And to my 17 year old self I say...NA NA NA NA NAAAA

http://thesaucycowblog.blogspot.com/2011/02/and-to-my-17-year-old-self-i-sayna-na.html

Monday, February 21, 2011. And to my 17 year old self I say.NA NA NA NA NAAAA. Have you ever felt your whole body stiffen, and then sink and soften as though it were fudge in a furnace? Felt the deep searing pain as you swallow hard and wipe the stinging beads of sweat from your brow? Ever felt your stomach flop about like a fish just swiped from a river and discarded on a marshy bank? Ever been uncomfortably conscious of every hair on your head, every step that you take? Every eyelash and fingernail?

thesaucycowblog.blogspot.com

Scribbles: July 2011

http://thesaucycowblog.blogspot.com/2011_07_01_archive.html

Friday, July 29, 2011. What I Did On My Holidays. I triumphantly zipped my suitcase shut and gazed adoringly at the positively shite Irish sky outside my window. In one week I would return to my grey homeland, bronzed, sizzling, gorgeous and giggling coquettishly at all my mischievous and marvellous stories from my holiday in Magaluf. What I Did On My Holidays. On my second night, a handsome-ish boy had the severe misfortune of crossing my path. He was carrying a rose, and he was Scottish. We plonked awk...

thesaucycowblog.blogspot.com

Scribbles: August 2011

http://thesaucycowblog.blogspot.com/2011_08_01_archive.html

Tuesday, August 2, 2011. What I Did On My Holidays - Part Two. Night one. After a three hour flight delay, *shakes fist at Aer Lingus* we were pretty low spirited and fed up. That is, until we walked onto the strip and ONE average looking British guy said ' Awwrite, You Oirish guurls cumin inta our bawr? From that moment on we behaved like nymphomaniac alcoholics on day release. With the mix of alcohol and my alien surroundings, I was extremely irked. Heyam, yeah Snape.Yeah you should probably come b...

thesaucycowblog.blogspot.com

Scribbles: June 2011

http://thesaucycowblog.blogspot.com/2011_06_01_archive.html

Thursday, June 2, 2011. The Perfect Bikini Diet Plan. That means most of us are now sweating bullets about our Bikini Diets. Fear not, I present you with The Saucy Cow's (tried and tested) Guide to Bikini Diets. Widely publicise diet. Decide to put yourself under the pressures that celebrities in the spotlight are and attract everyone's attention to the pounds which will soon be dropping off you like flies. Announce it with much aplomb. (' I mean it girls! Cry into muesli (dry, no milk) and accept fact t...

thesaucycowblog.blogspot.com

Scribbles: March 2012

http://thesaucycowblog.blogspot.com/2012_03_01_archive.html

Wednesday, March 28, 2012. How to Survive a Hangover. Awake, knowing less about anything than you have ever known in your life. The only feeling your conscious of is a deep foreboding. Your mind and body have been scattered from each other. Quite like how you scattered your shoes: you can see from here that one has ended up gallantly dangling from the curtain pole, while you're inexplicably confident that its companion is at your friend Tony's house. Crawl pathetically into bed, (dress and eyelashes stil...

thesaucycowblog.blogspot.com

Scribbles: Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes

http://thesaucycowblog.blogspot.com/2012/02/ch-ch-ch-ch-changes.html

Tuesday, February 7, 2012. Ah, things look different, don't they? Well first of all, you no longer need a pair of sunglasses to view the site. Over the next while I'm going to be fiddling around with the blog a bit. The words will still be the same old quality (er, whether that's good or bad: I don't know.) I just want to change how things look a bit. Being my same old indecisive self, this will take much nail nibbling and hmm-ing and haw-ing, so bear with me. To see the resource. Monday, June 13, 2016 a...

thesaucycowblog.blogspot.com

Scribbles: February 2012

http://thesaucycowblog.blogspot.com/2012_02_01_archive.html

Tuesday, February 7, 2012. Ah, things look different, don't they? Well first of all, you no longer need a pair of sunglasses to view the site. Over the next while I'm going to be fiddling around with the blog a bit. The words will still be the same old quality (er, whether that's good or bad: I don't know.) I just want to change how things look a bit. Being my same old indecisive self, this will take much nail nibbling and hmm-ing and haw-ing, so bear with me. Links to this post. I leaped ebulliently at ...

thesaucycowblog.blogspot.com

Scribbles: How To Find A Guy In Ten Days (or not.)

http://thesaucycowblog.blogspot.com/2012/02/how-to-find-guy-in-ten-days-or-not.html

Tuesday, February 7, 2012. How To Find A Guy In Ten Days (or not.). This article was originally written for, and published in The Dubliner Magazine - Ireland's best city magazine, on Thursday the 2nd of February 2012. The Dubliner is free every Thursday with The Evening Herald. Follow @dubliner mag. This is an extended and very poorly edited version of that article. Obviously. I am pausing here for comedic effect. I think we can all agree that I should be taken into a laboratory and dissected to establis...