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Candy-Coated Razor Blades: October 2014
http://www.candycoatedrazor.com/2014_10_12_archive.html
Saturday, October 18, 2014. See No Evil, Have No Fun. Jen and Sylvia Soska. WHAT HAVE YOU DONE! I say all halfheartedly because, believe it or not, I liked their latest piece of horror fluff, See No Evil 2. Not to tell you too much about the movie, 'cause it's all new and shit, picture it. A birthday party in a morgue with a recently "deceased" serial killer with religious mommy issues. And that's all you need to know for now. It's rectangular and under a sheet in a morgue. I wonder what it could be?
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Candy-Coated Razor Blades: Keep 'Em Laughing As You Go...
http://www.candycoatedrazor.com/2013/07/keep-em-laughing-as-you-go.html
Wednesday, July 3, 2013. Keep 'Em Laughing As You Go. Schadenfreude has a long and hilarious history. As long as comedy has been around, "black comedy" has been around. In fact, I'm pretty sure that comedy started the minute the first caveman slipped on a carelessly tossed Mammoth knuckle and fell over a cliff. Because we find things funny that shouldn't be funny but they're funny because they aren't happening to US. It's a defense mechanism. Jim Jones jokes are always appreciated. Now, I'm not talking a...
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Candy-Coated Razor Blades: Put the Fucking Shovel Away
http://www.candycoatedrazor.com/2015/03/put-fucking-shovel-away.html
Saturday, March 28, 2015. Put the Fucking Shovel Away. For months, now, I've been hearing about the fanTAStic "mockumentary" by Adam Green, director of the cult favorites Hatchet. Both of which are friggin' awesome, by the name of Digging Up the Marrow. It's AMAZING," they said. "You'll LOVE it," they said. "It will change the way you view the world," they said. No, really, they actually said that. Telling Adam Green and his crew to shut up and turn the lights off. So, yeah. 90 minutes of the movie a...
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Candy-Coated Razor Blades: A moment of solemnity.
http://www.candycoatedrazor.com/2015/04/a-moment-of-solemnity.html
Saturday, April 18, 2015. A moment of solemnity. So Let's talk about the Hugo awards for a second and what kind of bullshit the Sad Puppies campaign really is. I know that the Hugos are for "Science Fiction" but without Science Fiction, we wouldn't have Alien. And that would be a sad thing indeed. Larry Correia, a half-assed "writer" who likes to get all "Halo" in his books about hunting monsters started Sad Puppies three years ago. Which is playful, haunting and beautiful, garnered 65 votes and STILL en...
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Candy-Coated Razor Blades: DON'T SCRATCH THE PAINT!
http://www.candycoatedrazor.com/2012/10/dont-scratch-paint.html
Tuesday, October 30, 2012. DON'T SCRATCH THE PAINT! Did you know that cars are actually designed to look like they have faces? The higher the horsepower, the more aggressive the face. That being the case, Christine must have a top speed of warp fucking 19. She'll gnaw on your SOUL. HEEHEE! King is the master of turning the bullied into monsters. And his work with John Carpenter is always sublime. The juxtaposition of the "Faustian bargain" with the "Yandere" (see On Widowers and Poor Dating Habits. Is sp...
candycoatedrazor.com
Candy-Coated Razor Blades: April 2015
http://www.candycoatedrazor.com/2015_04_12_archive.html
Saturday, April 18, 2015. A moment of solemnity. So Let's talk about the Hugo awards for a second and what kind of bullshit the Sad Puppies campaign really is. I know that the Hugos are for "Science Fiction" but without Science Fiction, we wouldn't have Alien. And that would be a sad thing indeed. Larry Correia, a half-assed "writer" who likes to get all "Halo" in his books about hunting monsters started Sad Puppies three years ago. Which is playful, haunting and beautiful, garnered 65 votes and STILL en...
candycoatedrazor.com
Candy-Coated Razor Blades: See No Evil, Have No Fun.
http://www.candycoatedrazor.com/2014/10/see-no-evil-have-no-fun.html
Saturday, October 18, 2014. See No Evil, Have No Fun. Jen and Sylvia Soska. WHAT HAVE YOU DONE! I say all halfheartedly because, believe it or not, I liked their latest piece of horror fluff, See No Evil 2. Not to tell you too much about the movie, 'cause it's all new and shit, picture it. A birthday party in a morgue with a recently "deceased" serial killer with religious mommy issues. And that's all you need to know for now. It's rectangular and under a sheet in a morgue. I wonder what it could be?
candycoatedrazor.com
Candy-Coated Razor Blades: Bomb Pops
http://www.candycoatedrazor.com/2015/02/bomb-pops.html
Thursday, February 26, 2015. In the annals of history, one horror movie villain stands out as the most heinous, the most cruel, the most diabolical, the most. fattening? Oh, HELL, Naw! We all know about the windowless, white van we're supposed to stay away from but in moves like Ice Cream Man, Maximum Overdrive, Legion. And Killer Klowns from Outer Space. Getting a Drumstick™ is going to take a lot more than cadging a buck off of your mom. This also ties into people's fear of clowns. Now, I believe there...
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Candy-Coated Razor Blades: Made in Canada
http://www.candycoatedrazor.com/2013/01/made-in-canada.html
Thursday, January 31, 2013. There seems to be a lot of hype, lately, concerning Jen and Sylvia Soska's latest picture, American Mary. And it's WELL-FUCKING DESERVED! I have been waiting to see this for AGES and I finally broke down and bought the blu-ray and had it shipped from the UK. I'm REALLY fucking glad that I didn't waste my money on this. It MORE than makes up for Texas Chainsaw 3D. After their insane romp through Action-Movie-Land in Dead Hooker In a Trunk. Mary, like any other promising med stu...
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Candy-Coated Razor Blades: Oddball, Screwball. What's The Difference?
http://www.candycoatedrazor.com/2014/10/oddball-screwball-whats-difference.html
Monday, October 13, 2014. Oddball, Screwball. What's The Difference? OK, so, I'm going to admit something I've never told anyone before. I hate Dean Koontz movies. His books are OK and I kinda liked some of them but I prefer Stephen King. Or Robert McCammon for my horror reading pleasure. Is an absolute delight. Along with being a fry cook. But then trouble comes in. BIG trouble in the form of bodachs, evil beings who are drawn to carnage and mayhem (aren't we all)? The more of them there are, the more c...
