humanwrites.blogspot.com
Human Writes: October 2004
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The Slanderous Commentary and Nonsensical Rantings of Daniel Evans. Saturday, October 30, 2004. Left-Handed Power-Hitting Son and I were up before the sun this morning, preparing for our Saturday morning ritual: a trip to Starbucks, where we scarf banana loaf cake and chocolate milk, and we read the sports page together. I’m raising my son to be a man, and this is what men do. We talk about football and get all hopped-up on sugar first thing in the morning. He returned with two shiny black tap shoes.
humanwrites.blogspot.com
Human Writes: November 2004
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The Slanderous Commentary and Nonsensical Rantings of Daniel Evans. Tuesday, November 30, 2004. When Bad Things Happen To Good Shirts. I arrived at the doctor’s office 15 minutes early. After reading two issues of Entertainment Weekly, my gaunt, balding, children’s-charity-tie-wearing doctor burst through the door and into examination room two. How’s it going, Daniel? He asked. I was under no impression that he actually knew my name. He saw it in my chart. I’m OK. How are you doing? Eddie Bauer, huh?
freetobeforever.blogspot.com
Free to Be: June 2005
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Wednesday, June 29, 2005. I haven't posted since Friday. I have blogblock. I'm cranky, tired, stressed, and bored. As I suggested earlier to myself, I'm taking next week off from work. I really need a break. My son is doing fine so far on the medication. I think it may be helping him already. He hates it when I ask him. "quit asking me" (whatever, *eyeroll*). I encouraged him to start his journal again and he's been writing songs. I'm so proud of him, he is an awesome writer. Friday, June 24, 2005. Needl...
humanwrites.blogspot.com
Human Writes: All Up In Walt’s Ass
http://humanwrites.blogspot.com/2005/02/all-up-in-walts-ass.html
The Slanderous Commentary and Nonsensical Rantings of Daniel Evans. Sunday, February 13, 2005. All Up In Walt’s Ass. Behind the register stood a sloth who embodies all things Disney: early 40s, overweight, pocked with acne and random, thick-gauge hairs in places where women don’t normally have hair (see: moustache, beard, ear bush), and enough Disney-themed pins and buttons on her suspenders to add a good 40 pounds to her already hefty upper body. Yes, that’s it. No No thank you. That remindsh me, she sa...
humanwrites.blogspot.com
Human Writes: The Dad Gone Mad 500
http://humanwrites.blogspot.com/2005/02/dad-gone-mad-500.html
The Slanderous Commentary and Nonsensical Rantings of Daniel Evans. Tuesday, February 22, 2005. The Dad Gone Mad 500. I watched roughly 10 minutes of the Daytona 500 this weekend. Ten minutes is my threshold for auto racing unless there’s a five-car crash where someone’s head goes rolling down pit road or the announcer with the hard, barely intelligible Southern drawl squeals, They’re running three abreast down the straight-away, y’all! Three abreast. Love that imagery. At the top of my tired lungs. ...
humanwrites.blogspot.com
Human Writes: March 2004
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The Slanderous Commentary and Nonsensical Rantings of Daniel Evans. Monday, March 29, 2004. Penny Wise, Pound Foolish. As The World's Greatest Wife has said, the company is being pennywise and pound foolish to keep her here a moment longer than right now. What do they have to gain? Can the bitch, quicklike. Posted by Daniel Evans @ 4:04 PM. Wednesday, March 17, 2004. Outta My Way, Scumbag. I act like a three-year-old on the freeway. Posted by Daniel Evans @ 8:50 AM. View my complete profile. Back Off Bef...
humanwrites.blogspot.com
Human Writes: I Have Seen The Depths Of Hell And They Look Like The Inside Of A Bean And Cheese Burrito
http://humanwrites.blogspot.com/2005/02/i-have-seen-depths-of-hell-and-they.html
The Slanderous Commentary and Nonsensical Rantings of Daniel Evans. Tuesday, February 15, 2005. I Have Seen The Depths Of Hell And They Look Like The Inside Of A Bean And Cheese Burrito. I have a daughter. Her name is Barney’s Biggest Fan. She’ll be two next month. She is sweet and cute and when she wants to know what I’m doing she walks up to me, puts her teeny little hand on my leg and says, Danny. Dooween? Last night, for the first time, she drank a sippy cup full of milk. She is NOT allergic. Glad to...
humanwrites.blogspot.com
Human Writes: Danny’s Guide To Personal Grooming and Fashion
http://humanwrites.blogspot.com/2005/02/dannys-guide-to-personal-grooming-and.html
The Slanderous Commentary and Nonsensical Rantings of Daniel Evans. Monday, February 14, 2005. Danny’s Guide To Personal Grooming and Fashion. Now, don’t get all upset and accuse me of being the possessor of a wandering eye. I am not in the habit of closely examining the personal grooming habits of strange women, but this pube-headed goober’s Monday morning faux pas was thrust in my face. How can you NOT notice something like that? 2 Perfume is nice when it’s a squirt or two on your neck, but those of yo...
humanwrites.blogspot.com
Human Writes: Show Me A Batshit Asshat And I'll Show You A Shit-Eating Cockmaster
http://humanwrites.blogspot.com/2005/02/show-me-batshit-asshat-and-ill-show.html
The Slanderous Commentary and Nonsensical Rantings of Daniel Evans. Friday, February 11, 2005. Show Me A Batshit Asshat And I'll Show You A Shit-Eating Cockmaster. And so began my life in profanity. I by no means believe I am alone in my adherence to this strict moral code of cursing. To prove my point, I would like you all to answer the following questions when you leave a comment this weekend:. 1 What is your favorite curse word? 2 Please use your answer to No. 1 in a sentence. 5 Describe a time when y...
