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The Ugly Volvo

Upgrade to paid account! I Have a New Blog Because Hey, It's Not 2003 Anymore. Oct 25th, 2013 at 1:44 PM. I started this blog when I was 23 and moving from Los Angeles back home to New York. I was young and had no idea what I was doing with my life. It's been ten years and I have just recently started a new blog at www.theuglyvolvo.com. An Actual Conversation We Had This Morning. Apr 19th, 2012 at 11:14 PM. What are you doing? I asked. Why are you putting him right back in the bathroom? I think it probab...

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The Ugly Volvo | theuglyvolvo.livejournal.com Reviews

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Upgrade to paid account! I Have a New Blog Because Hey, It's Not 2003 Anymore. Oct 25th, 2013 at 1:44 PM. I started this blog when I was 23 and moving from Los Angeles back home to New York. I was young and had no idea what I was doing with my life. It's been ten years and I have just recently started a new blog at www.theuglyvolvo.com. An Actual Conversation We Had This Morning. Apr 19th, 2012 at 11:14 PM. What are you doing? I asked. Why are you putting him right back in the bathroom? I think it probab...

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The Ugly Volvo | theuglyvolvo.livejournal.com Reviews

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Upgrade to paid account! I Have a New Blog Because Hey, It's Not 2003 Anymore. Oct 25th, 2013 at 1:44 PM. I started this blog when I was 23 and moving from Los Angeles back home to New York. I was young and had no idea what I was doing with my life. It's been ten years and I have just recently started a new blog at www.theuglyvolvo.com. An Actual Conversation We Had This Morning. Apr 19th, 2012 at 11:14 PM. What are you doing? I asked. Why are you putting him right back in the bathroom? I think it probab...

INTERNAL PAGES

theuglyvolvo.livejournal.com

1

Job Hunting - The Ugly Volvo

http://theuglyvolvo.livejournal.com/239067.html

Aug 30th, 2011 at 4:39 PM. You can bring the dog and be home by 5:30. I do not want to be a Spa Coordinator at a high end medical spa and I do not stand a chance applying to KOREAN SPEAKING FEMALE F/T OFFICE ASSISTANT. I see little future as an Egg Donor or a dog walker on the Upper East Side (1 year commitment! Or as someone who could Get Paid to Evaluate Banks! Biting my lip with uncertainty I paste my resume into the body of an e-mail. 7 comments Leave a comment. Aug 30th, 2011 09:10 pm (UTC). Somewhe...

2

They grow up so fast - The Ugly Volvo

http://theuglyvolvo.livejournal.com/239602.html

They grow up so fast. Oct 7th, 2011 at 10:02 AM. My mother and I are sitting in her glacier-colored Volkswagon Passat, outside a Panera Bread in the parking lot of a strip mall. She is on her lunch break from work. I drove to her office to pick her up and take her out to lunch but now we are at a standstill in the parked car and she is shaking her head, biting her lower lip, telling me she wants. To go inside, but we can’t go inside because of my fleece jacket. I didn’t say it was dirty, I said it looks.

3

Everything at Bed Bath and Beyond is Stupid - The Ugly Volvo

http://theuglyvolvo.livejournal.com/237327.html

Everything at Bed Bath and Beyond is Stupid. Jan 17th, 2011 at 8:10 PM. When I first learned that his wife was in labor my heart picked up a little bit and I went, Oh boy, it’s really happening, and immediately thought, This is exciting! And Give her 9 cc’s! Or She’s dilated to 25 centimeters! And right when your conscious mind kicked in and went, Excuse me? What will happen to the baby? Down through the chimney with lots of toys! All for the little one’s Chris-mas joys! And I will go home and look for b...

4

Testing - The Ugly Volvo

http://theuglyvolvo.livejournal.com/238167.html

Jul 26th, 2011 at 11:56 AM. Which means You are too old to be a student and too young to be a parent and you are obviously not a delivery man so what are you doing here? Or one on the mirror where she brushes her teeth that reads Courage is not simply one of the virtues, but the form of every virtue at the testing point. Because I would have asked, To teach what? What am I called to teach? And the voice would have responded, Algebra I and Algebra II and critical reading. And I would have said, Really?

5

I can't emotionally handle waitressing. - The Ugly Volvo

http://theuglyvolvo.livejournal.com/237696.html

I can't emotionally handle waitressing. Jun 26th, 2011 at 10:25 PM. There are going to be two of us! And I nod and say,. Can I get you something to drink while you wait on the rest of your party? This is always what I say to tables that are waiting for people to arrive. And she says,. May I have a coffee, please? Is tap water all right or would you prefer sparkling or still? These are so cute! This is exactly what I wanted! 17 comments Leave a comment. Jun 27th, 2011 03:29 am (UTC). Hey, maybe she was a ...

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innermonologues: February 2010

http://innermonologueslex.blogspot.com/2010_02_01_archive.html

Friday, February 26, 2010. Pieces from The Show: Bad Romance 2-22. INNER MONOLOGUES XXIX: BAD ROMANCE February 22, 2010. 8220;Sex With My Dog”. We’d kiss him goodnight and pat him on the head between the bars of his cage. Jesse and I would crawl into bed and keep the door to our room open so Ernie could see that Mama and Dada were right there. This was the arrangement the dog and we had agreed to and it was just fine until one night, we awoke to the saddest noise on Earth. Whimpering. 8220;What do we do?

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innermonologues: May 2009

http://innermonologueslex.blogspot.com/2009_05_01_archive.html

Sunday, May 3, 2009. Pieces from Tuesday's Show: Addicted. Awesome turnout, awesome readers. People really had fun with this topic. Jessica Delfino's. Set about legalizing drugs was hilarious:. And here are some pieces from our readers:. Part One – In which our hero discovers that his living situation is about become really stupid. PART 2 – In which our hero learns that there is good and bad with everything, and sometimes the bad includes a large white bucket full of soiled toilet paper. Ultimately, my f...

innermonologueslex.blogspot.com

innermonologues: December 2008

http://innermonologueslex.blogspot.com/2008_12_01_archive.html

Saturday, December 20, 2008. Tanner's and Jenn's Pieces from Inner Monologues: Haters (Dec 3rd 2008). THREE DAYS IN THE SEVENTH GRADE. Part One: Fight Day. The second day of seventh grade I fell in love with a girl named Sissy Larson. I could tell I was in love with her because I couldn’t stop staring at her. She had beautiful hair and her laugh was the most wonderful thing ever invented. 8221; and people were like, “yeah! 8221; I was like, “Oh my God! 8221; I was like, “shut the fuck up, dude! It was ar...

innermonologueslex.blogspot.com

innermonologues: January 2011

http://innermonologueslex.blogspot.com/2011_01_01_archive.html

Sunday, January 23, 2011. Inner Monologues Feb 9th: The Social Network. My Piece, "Would You Believe They Put a Cow on the Moon? Raquel D'Apice, "The Social Network". Julie Kraut, "The Aerobics Network". Brea Tremblay, "COGirl2789". Emily Epstein, "Are You There Diary? It's Me, Emily". Subscribe to: Posts (Atom). HOT NEWS: #WomenInComedy2016, Kotex Period Pop-Up Shop, NY Funny Songs Fest more. Ghosts of the Past. I Have a New Blog Because Hey, It's Not 2003 Anymore. More of Your Emily Performance Needs!

innermonologueslex.blogspot.com

innermonologues: March 2010

http://innermonologueslex.blogspot.com/2010_03_01_archive.html

Wednesday, March 3, 2010. Pics of Some Monologuers. Thanks to a friend of inner monologues, Michelle Dozois, we have some pics of readers in action:. Subscribe to: Posts (Atom). HOT NEWS: #WomenInComedy2016, Kotex Period Pop-Up Shop, NY Funny Songs Fest more. Ghosts of the Past. I Have a New Blog Because Hey, It's Not 2003 Anymore. Wolkin's House of Chicken and Waffles (and Comics! Donate Money to My Organization Without Actually Spending Anything. More of Your Emily Performance Needs!

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innermonologues: August 2010

http://innermonologueslex.blogspot.com/2010_08_01_archive.html

Monday, August 9, 2010. Pieces from "Just Say No! Thanks for everyone who came out on that hot muggy night. And, there's an awesome show called SkitsNTits on Wed Aug 11 at 10 pm, 308 Bowery. Go to JessicaDelfino.com. EMILY EPSTEIN'S PIECE, "A Camel For Your Wife". 8220;Sorry for the interruption, SamSemians,” Samet said, using the name that he had given our group, after his own nickname. Retaking his position behind Tamara, “now, as we were saying, the Sphinx—”. 8220;But what happened? 8221; I implored.

innermonologueslex.blogspot.com

innermonologues: November 2008

http://innermonologueslex.blogspot.com/2008_11_01_archive.html

Friday, November 28, 2008. The Last Piece I Read. From the 23rd Show: INTERNATIONAL FLAIR. I’ve come to realize as of late that I rely on heavy artillery of folks to just maintain this vision of beauty and calm that stands before you. But not just any folks. You know how white people like British accents in their car commercials because it makes the car seem more “civilized”? Bitch, PLEASE.”. You have to shout it like she does. Mariela! I’d felt like I’d done enough physical damage to myself ...Even thou...

innermonologueslex.blogspot.com

innermonologues: December 2009

http://innermonologueslex.blogspot.com/2009_12_01_archive.html

Friday, December 11, 2009. Pieces from Ho Ho Ho's on Dec 16! The Dave Who Ruined Christmas. 8220;Man, I wish you could join me for Christmas,” Dave said. 8220;I know. It’s not even like I’m doing anything special—maybe a movie and some Chinese food.”. 8220;Why don’t you come up to Syracuse? Did someone always get a diamond and happiness abounds, like Zale’s says? Would I get the hottest new toy that I had been wishing for, as Toys R’ Us predicts? Oh, no. Was he really serious? 8220;Pssst, Emily. Over...

innermonologueslex.blogspot.com

innermonologues: When You Believe...in Jeans

http://innermonologueslex.blogspot.com/2012/04/when-you-believein-jeans.html

Thursday, April 5, 2012. When You Believe.in Jeans. INNER MONOLOGUES April 3, 2012—REBIRTH. When You Believe…in Jeans. A few weeks before my best friend Lindsay and I entered seventh grade at a new school, our moms took us shopping for Back to School Fashions at The Limited Too. I just knew that with my brand new wardrobe, it was going to be a banner year. The night before school, Lindsay and I meticulously planned our outfits. Outfits that would tell everyone: “We may be new to this school, bu...I looke...

innermonologueslex.blogspot.com

innermonologues: August 2009

http://innermonologueslex.blogspot.com/2009_08_01_archive.html

Sunday, August 23, 2009. My Piece from Inner Monologues: Mixed Bag! The Shittiest Place On Earth. I’m not like the biggest fan of train or bus station bathrooms. I mean, I don’t think that like, everyone else is all, “Yay! Can’t wait to use the bathroom at Port Authority! 8221; But I feel like, that if there’s even the tiniest possibility that a homeless person might have used a bathroom like once, then that’s a bathroom I don’t want to even go near. Unfortunately I wasn’t feeling so hot the day of...

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Enjoy it. Because it Goes So Fast. (In Illustrations). Yelp Reviews of Newborn Babies. Things I Thought I’d Get Done While Someone Else Was Watching the Baby. To Whomever Keeps Switching My Kids When I’m Not Looking. 41 Crafty Ideas for When You’re Trapped Indoors With a Young Child. A Valentine From Your Toddler (Interpreted). The Looney Tunes Character That Is Most Like Having a Toddler. Toddler Course Catalog: Spring 2015. All of my Issues With the “Goodnight Moon” Bedroom. Follow The Ugly Volvo.

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The Ugly Volvo

Upgrade to paid account! I Have a New Blog Because Hey, It's Not 2003 Anymore. Oct 25th, 2013 at 1:44 PM. I started this blog when I was 23 and moving from Los Angeles back home to New York. I was young and had no idea what I was doing with my life. It's been ten years and I have just recently started a new blog at www.theuglyvolvo.com. An Actual Conversation We Had This Morning. Apr 19th, 2012 at 11:14 PM. What are you doing? I asked. Why are you putting him right back in the bathroom? I think it probab...

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The Ugly Volvo

About The Ugly Volvo. The Best Instagram Filters for New Parents. I don’t use Instagram all that much (so apologies if you follow me on there and are less than wow-ed by the photo of my dog…. July 7, 2014. Why Having a Baby Reminds me of Garfield Minus Garfield. I love the site Garfield Minus Garfield. If you don’t know the site Garfield minus Garfield it’s a website run by a guy named Dan Walsh who takes Garfield comic…. June 30, 2014. DAD BRIDGE WALK (A Poorly Titled Post for Father’s Day). May 28, 2014.

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Pillow Talk

Saturday, April 3, 2010. I already a college student! Im doing foundation in heath sciences and later, will futher in Bachelor of Pharmacy, twinning programe with La Trobe Uni , Australia (4 0) :) insya-Allah:) just wish me luck yah :D. MY GEE my convents girls still THE BEST :D. Majority here is Indian and Chinese and Malay became the minority here. Haha :D but yeah i manage to fit myself in the environment! In any way, i still miss my Convents school like Hell. Life here is all the same as school life.