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ticklinglife.blogspot.com

Tickling Life

My journey through the loss of my son, infertility, and life in general.

http://ticklinglife.blogspot.com/

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Tickling Life | ticklinglife.blogspot.com Reviews
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My journey through the loss of my son, infertility, and life in general.
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1 tickling life
2 easier
3 posted by marie
4 no comments
5 email this
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7 share to twitter
8 share to facebook
9 share to pinterest
10 a quiet companion
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tickling life,easier,posted by marie,no comments,email this,blogthis,share to twitter,share to facebook,share to pinterest,a quiet companion,he was gone,there are days,i forget,5 months,matthew's birth story,that moment,it was here,what about you,chris
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Tickling Life | ticklinglife.blogspot.com Reviews

https://ticklinglife.blogspot.com

My journey through the loss of my son, infertility, and life in general.

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1

Tickling Life: May 2012

http://ticklinglife.blogspot.com/2012_05_01_archive.html

Wednesday, May 30, 2012. Why not them instead of us? Why not her instead of me? Why not their baby instead of mine? How is it fair that they get 2, 3, 4, 5.and I can't even have just him? What did I do that was so horrible that I can't be a mom. Why must I suffer every day with constant thoughts of pregnant friends and mommy friends. Do I need to pray more? Do I not go to church enough? Is it because I cuss? I don't know. I know I'm not that great of a person, but did I really deserve this? The last few ...

2

Tickling Life: August 2012

http://ticklinglife.blogspot.com/2012_08_01_archive.html

Tuesday, August 28, 2012. It's a few days late, but happy birthday little boy. Friday was particularly hard for mommy. She had to find out that yet again, her dreams of giving you a little brother or sister had been dashed. No baby this month. She wishes with all her heart to pour all of the love and hugs she has stored up for you into another baby. So that in some small way you can receive it all too. Love you Matthew, with all of my heart. Friday, August 10, 2012. We left the game early, as Jamie was i...

3

Tickling Life: 5 Months

http://ticklinglife.blogspot.com/2012/08/5-months.html

Tuesday, August 28, 2012. It's a few days late, but happy birthday little boy. Friday was particularly hard for mommy. She had to find out that yet again, her dreams of giving you a little brother or sister had been dashed. No baby this month. She wishes with all her heart to pour all of the love and hugs she has stored up for you into another baby. So that in some small way you can receive it all too. Love you Matthew, with all of my heart. Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom). I watched my little boy on ...

4

Tickling Life: What To Say

http://ticklinglife.blogspot.com/2012/07/what-to-say.html

Sunday, July 22, 2012. Don't even slightly pretend to know what we're going through, or liken it to anything that's happened in your life. It's not even close, it's not even imaginable for you, and it is so far from understandable that doing so just belittles our loss. Don't avoid his name, and think it's easier not to hear. I crave it, I ache to hear it from other's lips, because there is nothing more normal than acknowledging my child. Just say it: Matthew. Do love me. Show your care for me. I ...Do ac...

5

Tickling Life: Always - 4 months

http://ticklinglife.blogspot.com/2012/07/always-4-months.html

Tuesday, July 24, 2012. Always - 4 months. Today Jamie and I celebrate 4 years married. Today Jamie and I celebrate the birth of our son 4 months ago. Wow, what a day huh? Here is another post from the babyloss board I frequent. I find so much understanding in these fellow parents of heaven children. When do you miss him the most? Lu asked me last night. Alone in the car," I replied. My typical rant makes Lu laugh. I asked her, serious again. Yeah, I agreed. Absolutely. Three year old boys just becoming ...

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June | 2014 | BoniBabyJourney

https://bonibabyjourney.wordpress.com/2014/06

Our first born, our first love, our one and only Evan. To Evan’s Daddy. Posted by Evan's Mommy. Asymp; Leave a comment. Our little boy was so amazed by you and loved you so much. I don’t just say those things because I think or hope that’s how Evan felt. I. And everyday my heart breaks a little more, knowing that you must endure this life with me, without our son. And I will never understand why. Our life will always be missing someone most special. Missing our person. Our lives will neve...Ask for. ...

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May | 2014 | BoniBabyJourney

https://bonibabyjourney.wordpress.com/2014/05

Our first born, our first love, our one and only Evan. Posted by Evan's Mommy. Asymp; Leave a comment. This past Mother’s Day was so perfect. I got to stay in bed in the morning, later than I normally would. Grant had gotten up and was obviously busy downstairs. Preparing a surprise for me, I was sure! And then I realized that I had in fact woken up, and it was Mother’s Day. But, I had been blank-staring into no space in particular – imagining what this day could have been. We are no longer those people.

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Happy 3rd Birthday!! | BoniBabyJourney

https://bonibabyjourney.wordpress.com/2015/03/29/happy-3rd-birthday

Our first born, our first love, our one and only Evan. Posted by Evan's Mommy. Asymp; Leave a comment. Happy Birthday, my love! I can’t believe you turn 3 today. I remember the day you were born like it was yesterday. It was the most magical day of our lives. Our lives changed forever. One day I will finish writing your birth story, as I believe it to be the best love story of all time. I hope you enjoyed your day and had a big celebration! I hope you felt all the love people sent your way today. Father ...

bonibabyjourney.wordpress.com bonibabyjourney.wordpress.com

December | 2014 | BoniBabyJourney

https://bonibabyjourney.wordpress.com/2014/12

Our first born, our first love, our one and only Evan. Merry Christmas, Baby 3. Posted by Evan's Mommy. Asymp; Leave a comment. We love that some people did random acts of kindness in your memory, or made donations, or mentioned you this holiday season. This sounds so cliche, but it really means more to us than they will know. It gives us that glow in our hearts that pushes us through the season. It’s so beautiful that others remember you. It makes us feel less alone in this pain. Follow Blog via Email.

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To Evan’s Daddy | BoniBabyJourney

https://bonibabyjourney.wordpress.com/2014/06/16/to-evans-daddy

Our first born, our first love, our one and only Evan. To Evan’s Daddy. Posted by Evan's Mommy. Asymp; Leave a comment. Our little boy was so amazed by you and loved you so much. I don’t just say those things because I think or hope that’s how Evan felt. I. And everyday my heart breaks a little more, knowing that you must endure this life with me, without our son. And I will never understand why. Our life will always be missing someone most special. Missing our person. Our lives will neve...Ask for. ...

bonibabyjourney.wordpress.com bonibabyjourney.wordpress.com

A Half Birthday Kind of Day | BoniBabyJourney

https://bonibabyjourney.wordpress.com/2014/09/29/a-half-birthday-kind-of-day

Our first born, our first love, our one and only Evan. A Half Birthday Kind of Day. Posted by Evan's Mommy. Asymp; Leave a comment. This change in seasons is throwing us all over the place. We cannot seem to get our bearings before our moods and feelings are changing once again. It is almost impossible to focus on things that need attention, and very easy to focus on things that don’t. We love you, Evan, and miss you. Happy Half Birthday! Larr; Previous post. Next post →. Leave a Reply Cancel reply.

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Why Am I Still Surprised? | BoniBabyJourney

https://bonibabyjourney.wordpress.com/2014/09/08/why-am-i-still-surprised

Our first born, our first love, our one and only Evan. Why Am I Still Surprised? Posted by Evan's Mommy. Asymp; 4 Comments. How is it that my carefree Sunday turned into a heart-stomping fest? When the grief wave hits, the emptiness and sadness become so overwhelming, it is hard to function in our day to day. I know its ok and expected. But when it hits, like it did yesterday, I feel completely taken back by it. Why do I still feel surprised at this? Larr; Previous post. Next post →. Often, I hear or see...

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2 Years and Evan Tree | BoniBabyJourney

https://bonibabyjourney.wordpress.com/2014/04/24/2-years-and-evan-tree

Our first born, our first love, our one and only Evan. 2 Years and Evan Tree. Posted by Evan's Mommy. Asymp; Leave a comment. In the wee hours of the morning, two years ago (yesterday), our son Evan passed away in my arms. As I dozed off with him in my arms, I held my hand over his chest and felt his heart slow more and more. I think we picked a good one…. We are really happy with it. We love you so very much, Evan. We are always missing you and always loving you and always will, forever and ever&#46...

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March | 2015 | BoniBabyJourney

https://bonibabyjourney.wordpress.com/2015/03

Our first born, our first love, our one and only Evan. Posted by Evan's Mommy. Asymp; Leave a comment. Happy Birthday, my love! I can’t believe you turn 3 today. I remember the day you were born like it was yesterday. It was the most magical day of our lives. Our lives changed forever. One day I will finish writing your birth story, as I believe it to be the best love story of all time. I hope you enjoyed your day and had a big celebration! I hope you felt all the love people sent your way today. I will ...

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Wednesday, June 26, 2013. A few days after Matthew was born, a lady from church who brought us a dinner asked me a question that, at the time I did not have an answer too. "Wouldn't you have preferred if he had died before he was born, and it had been a miscarriage instead? As horrible as that sounds, she was legitimately confused. I had been saying how incredibly grateful I was for the hour and a half he had given us before he passed away. I now knew love. I now knew true sacrifice. I now knew purpose.

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