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Bangladoink!: May 2006

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Use only as directed. Some swelling may occur. Thursday, May 18, 2006. Hands Off My Yabos. My stomach's still bothering me, so I went in for a full physical. I had a bunch of blood syphoned out of me. Then. They took my pee. And I got a little card on which to. Oh man, I don't even want to think about it. My next appointment is for Friday. God only knows what. They'll make me do then. Couldn't be any worse than. The doctor telling me to drop my pants, after which he. Examination room with us. Previously,...

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Bangladoink!: August 2005

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Use only as directed. Some swelling may occur. Wednesday, August 24, 2005. Zombies- Pork- The Wonder Twins. After applying for a job as a comedy writer on a children's show, they sent me this questionnaire as a sort of mini-interview. I haven't heard back from them. Maybe it really was for the Power Rangers. INTERVIEW ANSWERS * *. QUESTION #1: Why do you feel you'd be good at writing for young teenagers? QUESTION #2: What do you feel are the three funniest TV shows of all time? The Daily Show With John S...

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Bangladoink!: July 2006

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Use only as directed. Some swelling may occur. Thursday, July 13, 2006. I am, that's who! First my book comes out, then that same week my beautiful wife, Nina, tells me she's pregnant. We're going to have a little chunkster! I'm a first-time daddy and a published author. God, I just want you to know all is forgiven for the hell I had to go through in high school. The horrible skin. The crippling insecurities. Getting rejected by anyone with ovaries. Seriously, God, every single girl? Links to this post.

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Bangladoink!: August 2007

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Use only as directed. Some swelling may occur. Wednesday, August 01, 2007. Comic Con Carne 07. San Diego Comic Con was crammed full of goodness this year. Met so many people, saw so many spandex costumes pushed to their tensile limits by many a bulging gut. But let us begin with the loot, with this little jewel I lovingly call L'Spidey. Holy nuts, it was a FRENCH Mego Spidey! The packaging even refers to "Thor the Mighty," "La Torche Humaine," and my favorite, "La Chose" (click back image to enlarge)!

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Bangladoink!: August 2006

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Use only as directed. Some swelling may occur. Wednesday, August 30, 2006. How to Stay Young. Recently, a friend asked if kids these days still say, "He's the shit," to indicate someone is at the top of his game, firing on all cylinders, etc. Such slang is sadly outdated and will instantly label you as a decrepit old goat and/or a Republican. Point in fact, kids now say:. He's the tits.". He's the balls.". He's pleasing to the palate.". Stay crotch, my friends.". Posted by Big T @ 11:33 PM.

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Bangladoink!: June 2005

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Use only as directed. Some swelling may occur. Tuesday, June 28, 2005. Cops and Hoochies: A haiku. Cops and hoochies, yo. What brings them all out tonight? Posted by Big T @ 6:08 PM. Links to this post. The awesome power of nature. And breasts. You: Tom, where have you been? It’s been so long since you updated this blogamawhozit. Tom: There was an earthquake! You: Oh, no! What did you do, dive under your desk for safety? And the quake made her jiggle. You: Wait, so these were 20-foot-tall boobs? That one...

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Bangladoink!: May 2005

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Use only as directed. Some swelling may occur. Monday, May 16, 2005. Kicking Evil’s nuts throughout history, or Greetings from the future! The trouble with time travel is that it’s so constraining. You can’t do anything fun when you go back, or it screws up the future. Yikes, stepped on a butterfly in the Mesozoic. Oh, no, now Richard Simmons is king of Idaho. And a woman. Besides, time travelers only ever want to go back and meet the same four people over and over:. 4) Your mother (Oh, snap! Mussolini A...

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Bangladoink!: January 2006

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Use only as directed. Some swelling may occur. Monday, January 30, 2006. Happy birthday to me! For my 33rd birthday my. Wife got me the now-impotent head from a decapitated Cylon. How did she know? Sometimes I just have to stop and give thanks for my baby. She's one of the good ones. We had Chinese food and tiramisu then celebrated my birthday, and our mutual (human! Love for each other, by subjugating the robot head. Posted by Big T @ 12:10 AM. Links to this post. Los Angeles, California, United States.

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Bangladoink!: July 2005

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Use only as directed. Some swelling may occur. Thursday, July 28, 2005. Some interesting things I’ve learned recently:. 1) There is no cure for malaria. Malaria, like true love, is for life. Symptoms include fever, chills, and weight loss, and can come back again and again throughout your life. A friend who caught the parasite from a mosquito bite in Africa is looking mighty gaunt recently and suspects he’s relapsing. An embarrassing aside: For some reason, I always associated malaria with diarrhea.

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Bangladoink!: January 2007

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Use only as directed. Some swelling may occur. Monday, January 08, 2007. 2007's Gonna Punch You In the Face! A belated happy holidays to all my friends and family. This last year was an exceedingly busy one. Throw in a two-hour commute each day, and it doesn't leave much time to blog. But rest assured, I got my eye on you. Wishing you all the best in what surely will be the rockinest year ever. Posted by Big T @ 11:17 PM. Links to this post. Los Angeles, California, United States. View my complete profile.