barmitzvahzilla.blogspot.com
Bar Mitzvahzilla: A Life in Fifteen Lines or Less
http://barmitzvahzilla.blogspot.com/2013/05/a-life-in-fifteen-lines-or-less.html
Thursday, May 9, 2013. A Life in Fifteen Lines or Less. So I was really surprised when pricing obituaries yesterday, how much it costs to run one. Two hundred dollars for one day and fifteen lines. More for extra days and lines, and even more for a photograph. Somewhere in my naive little mind I thought these ran as community announcements, as community service. Not as ads. Who knows what it is that keeps a person in one piece, that keeps a person going? Rest in peace, Bob Milburn. May 10, 2013 at 9:50 AM.
barmitzvahzilla.blogspot.com
Bar Mitzvahzilla: Cardinal Sin
http://barmitzvahzilla.blogspot.com/2009/12/cardinal-sin.html
Wednesday, December 30, 2009. Husband has been off from work since December 24th and that should mean a lot of things: togetherness, bliss, quiet time, romance. Of course, it hasn't. Instead it's meant this one thing instead: football. My nemesis. Sometimes, in moments of despair, I think,. How did this happen to me? How did I end up married to someone whose idea of a really fun, relaxing day is watching football? Then I married Husband almost seventeen years ago. Well, actually, I started dating Hus...
barmitzvahzilla.blogspot.com
Bar Mitzvahzilla: Budding Shopaholic
http://barmitzvahzilla.blogspot.com/2012/01/budding-shopaholic.html
Wednesday, January 11, 2012. It's a typical Monday evening. Daughter and I drop off Bar Mitzvahzilla at his tutoring and then, since we're stuck in North Scottsdale for an hour, I drive over to a shopping center that has a rare treat: a Nordstrom Rack. Well, lucky me. Daughter and I are the same shoe size suddenly. Both 7s. Then something happens. While I'm looking, and eliminating, and eventually buying nothing at all, Daughter has a tweeny/teeny moment. She has a moment in which she suddenly bu...I nod...
barmitzvahzilla.blogspot.com
Bar Mitzvahzilla: Hairy But Hairless
http://barmitzvahzilla.blogspot.com/2009/05/wolfman.html
Sunday, May 17, 2009. It's just a normal day. I'm sitting around the JCC, happy, wearing my long shorts. I'm happy they're still kind of in style, even though I do see a lot of teenagers lately wearing these micro-mini shorts. Those are not an option; I'm happy to be wearing my quasi-shorts. At least until I notice there is hair growing on the tops of my kneecaps. Does he want to hand me his can of Barbasol? Does he want to compare 5 o'clock shadows with me? My friends continued wearing their flowing hip...
barmitzvahzilla.blogspot.com
Bar Mitzvahzilla: Looking Up
http://barmitzvahzilla.blogspot.com/p/looking-up-excerpt.html
This is an excerpt from my book, Looking Up: A Memoir of Sisters, Survivors and Skokie. Published in April 2011 and available now on Amazon. My mother always starts with the pig’s head. Whenever she tries to cajole me into eating, she drags out her two most miserable food stories from the Holocaust, when she lived in the forest, starving and running from the Nazis. The first one is about the pig’s head. 8220;A pig’s head? She nods. “It was delicious. I’ll never forget it.”. The other story my mother tell...
barmitzvahzilla.blogspot.com
Bar Mitzvahzilla: Eat, Talk, Cough
http://barmitzvahzilla.blogspot.com/2009/10/eat-talk-cough.html
Sunday, October 25, 2009. Eat, Talk, Cough. I dropped the phone! This happens several times. It happens so many times that I finally start yelling back from my position inside the dropped phone, "Are you there, Ma? Our conversations are interrupted by these drops. Or the coughing - my mother only coughs and hacks into the receiver, never around it. I have caught colds from her coughing on me through the phone. I get to listen. There's a little delay. Then, "Wendy! It's my cousin Wendy from Chicago. I hav...
barmitzvahzilla.blogspot.com
Bar Mitzvahzilla: Gefilte Fishless
http://barmitzvahzilla.blogspot.com/2009/05/gefilte-fishless.html
Saturday, May 9, 2009. I went to my mother's house today, which, by itself, makes her very happy. After all, I came carting the 9-year-old granddaughter. Any grandchild, anytime, is a very good thing. Here's what I brought her: three magazines - Architectural Digest, Traditional Home and More Magazine; the memoir. Soon after that I had to go. My daughter and I had to go shopping for a Mother's Day present for this same mother who sat crying over the gefilte fish. She was surprised by this. Writer, editor...
barmitzvahzilla.blogspot.com
Bar Mitzvahzilla: Dang Fang
http://barmitzvahzilla.blogspot.com/2009/05/dang-fang.html
Tuesday, May 19, 2009. It's hard to see myself in my children. And I don't mean just my bad personality. I mean my crappy genetics. But the troubling thing is the physical defects he's inherited from me. The orthodontist tells me my son can't get them because apparently he has inherited my jaw. You know when you were about thirteen and you were keeping a horrible secret about your body? Like that you had a volcanic pimple or one of your breasts was growing on your back? He opens his mouth and I see there...
barmitzvahzilla.blogspot.com
Bar Mitzvahzilla: Mom, Mind Reader
http://barmitzvahzilla.blogspot.com/2013/09/mom-mind-reader.html
Monday, September 2, 2013. Mom, Mind Reader. It's 7:40 AM and rather than being in bed, where I should be, I'm in an unusual place: sitting outside my daughter's new middle school, parked in the parking lot with the window cracked open to hear the bell, and watching the clock tick. Next to me, of course, is Daughter. She's gone to a Jewish Day School from Kindergarten through seventh grade. Suddenly, last year, she was through. Not the most courageous kid, yet she wanted to move on. So she sits. Then...
barmitzvahzilla.blogspot.com
Bar Mitzvahzilla: The Top Ten Reasons Why I Haven't Been Blogging
http://barmitzvahzilla.blogspot.com/2013/05/the-top-ten-reasons-why-i-havent-been.html
Friday, May 3, 2013. The Top Ten Reasons Why I Haven't Been Blogging. I'm determined to start blogging again, even though I have so many excuses for why I can't. What would I start with? How can I explain an absence of over a year? So I thought I'd do a Dave Letterman-style top ten list, at least to get my brain working again. The Top Ten Reasons Why I Haven't Been Blogging. The last year has seen me become the mother of two teenagers. Should I stop here? Both and over achiever and under achiever, procra...
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